February 2020

Golden Girls

Author's Note: I'm sorry I haven't posted since the 11th but I caught a stomach virus. Hope these writings do justice. Also, a warning that there are curse words in this because Sophia does cuss and all mistakes are mine because I was half out of it when I was really bad sick

For: February 12th

Show: Golden Girls

Word count: 491 Words

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Date Show:

The Golden Girls are contestants on a date show and they are the four contestants. Their host is Johnny Mac.

Johnny: Good evening, I am Johnny Mac and today is a special edition of Please Find Me A Date! Today, we have four mystery guests who are roommates in a house in Miami, Florida. I won't even tell you their age. Tonight's desperate guest is Ken Possible!

(Ken enters and sits in the chair next to Johnny. Ken is a man in his mid-twenties)

Johnny: How do you do Ken?

Ken: Great!

Johnny: Swell! Ken is a student studying to be a pediatrician at Washu! He is single and he is desperate!

(Audience cheers)

Johnny: Ken, we have four lucky desperate ladies from Miami who would want to date you. They are behind that screen so you cannot tell who is who or what they look like. All I will tell you is their names. They are Dorothy Zbornak, Rose Nylund, Blanche Deveroux, and Sophia Petrillo. Ladies are you ready.

Golden Girls: Yeah!

Johnny: We'll start with Dorothy. (To Ken) Ask away Ken.

Ken: What do you do for a living?

Dorothy: I am a substitute teacher for Dade County.

Ken: Do you like your job?

Dorothy: Not really.

Johnny: bachelorette number two, you're up!

Rose: Oh good, it's my turn.

Ken: What is your idea for a perfect date?

Rose: Well, I say that we start the night off with some good ole fashion log rolling and then we could go to Wolfies for some egg cream.

Ken: Log rolling?

Rose: Yes, we did it in St. Olaf all the time when I was a youngster.

Johnny: That sounds swell Rose! Blanche, you're up!

Ken: What is your idea for a wonderful time?

Blanche: Do I only get to mention one?

Ken: yes, preferably.

Blanche: Since you are a pediatrician, I say that we'd get naked and roll around in baby formula...(the rest is censored because it is too dang nasty!). So what do you think?

(Ken and Johnny are speechless)

Ken: Do I have to listen to Bachelorette Number 4?

Johnny: Yes you do! Sophia, you are up!

Ken: If it were to work out with us, would you want any children?

Sophia: Hell no! I can't even reproduce! I have a daughter who doesn't date, one in California who never calls, and one who is a dead cross-dresser!

Ken: I thought that they were supposed to be my age.

Johnny: Spiritually, we are all the same age. So Ken, who would it be? Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, or Sophia?

(The world may never know what he would say)