Chapter 23

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July 3rd. 7:00 am

              I was woken up by my dad shaken me and Colson ever so slightly "Get up" he said softly his voice a little shaken. Once he saw our eyes open he moved on to waking up Leaha and Rook. I looked at my phone slowly to see the time only to see its 7 in the morning. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked confused about why he woke us up this early. "Get Cassie out of the room," he said you could see the tears forming his eyes as his voice broke. Leaha was the first one to react she took a sleeping Cassie upstairs. "Dad" was all I managed to say as I got off the floor at this point he was completely in tears. "She has gone" he choked out through the tears Colson and Rook jumped to their feet. I stepped back in disbelief as I felt Rook's arm go around me. "What? no" Colson said looking at me then back to my dad. Colson went to my mom's side "She sleeping is all" he said "Just wake up Aunt Emily, Wake up!" he said more aggressively as he shook her but quickly took his hands away. "She so cold," he said stepping away before falling to his knees I wanted to run to him to hug but I couldn't move. Rook ran to him and hugged him "She wouldn't wake up" Colson said through tears "I know man" Rook answered as Colson gripped on to his bandmate.

                Colson was upstairs with Cassie and Leaha I was downstairs with Rook and my dad. We waited for the ambulance to come and get her. Rook rubbed my back as my dad stayed beside my mom holding her hand. We knew it was coming but how, how could this still take us all by surprise like this. The ambulance came and Rook went outside to lead them into my mom. "They can't take her just yet Lannie," my dad said as the EMS people came in the living room. "Dad they have to," I say slowly as I placed my hands on his shoulders. "No it's not time yet," he said slowly as he kissed my mom's hand. "Dad please let them take her," I said as my dad cried louder for her to come back causing Colson to come downstairs. "THEY CAN"T HAVE HER!" he said and Rook kept the EMS back a little for us. "Come on Uncle Rick," Colson said leaning beside him "We have to let them," I say leaning on the other side of my dad. "What happened to forever, What happened to forever. It was supposed to be forever with her" my dad said through tears as we pulled him away slowly but his hand still held on to hers. "Forever's never promised daddy," I say softly as his hands dropped from hers and the EMS begin to take her out. It took Colson everything in his power to keep my dad back from running after her.

July 6, 1:00 pm

          There we were standing in the funeral home surrounded by so many photos and things my mom loved. I took a deep breathe as Rook grabbed my hand I looked at him and gave a slight smile. My dad was in the room with Leaha and Colson where my mom was my dad stood there and cried looking at her casket. I wanted to go in there to hold my dad and say it's going to okay, say she is in a better place but I couldn't. I'm supposed to be the one giving a speech about my mom and I haven't even written it. I took an uneasy step as I slowly walk into the room Rook behind me. I went up to my dad and just hugged him tightly as Rook walked over to Colson, Cassie, and Leaha. "Has she cried yet?" I heard Leaha ask "No" Rook answered as I let go of my dad.

              "Emily baker was a wonderful woman, Daughter, Friend, and mother. She left behind her Brother Richard Baker, Husband Rick and daughter Rylie-Lannie Baker. In death, she is meet with her firstborn Landon, father Charles and Mother Maxine" The preacher read aloud as I sat in the front row holding my father's hand. I kept looking at Colson I knew he was even more disappointed that he hasn't seen his dad. Then my eyes would fall on Cassie just sitting on her dad's lap quietly I knew she had no clue what was going on. Leaha sat beside Colson with tissues in her hands as she had already started crying. Rook kept looking from the preacher back to me rubbing my back. I looked to my dad he just starred at my mom's casket as he let silent tears roll down his face. "Her daughter Rylie-Lannie will be coming up to say a few words about her mother," the preacher says as he stepped down off the podium.

            I walked up there and looked at everyone I could see people I knew some I didn't. I even saw some of Colson bandmates in the sits. "Hey everyone ... It's kind of weird to hear my full name I normally just go by Lannie or Rylie. My mom Explained to me just last month why I have 2 first names. Her and my dad had a son while they were still high school but he was a stillborn his name was Landon. My name is Lannie after him" I stopped talking taking a deep shaky breath as I noticed my hands shaken. "My mom was the most caring person she loved everyone always seen the best in people. She took in her Nephew Colson when he needed her the most, she made sure my best friend Leaha always knew she was loved. I remember taking my boyfriend to meet her for the first time. She told me after he left that night that he was going to be hard to love but he was going to be worth it. She never judged anyone who came and she did not judge them when they left either."

              I took another deep breath trying to hold it all in to kept it together I looked to the ceiling and gripped the podium. "She was fair and kind ... I don't get to pick out my prom dress with her, or a wedding dress and that's not fair it's not fair my mom deserved more time with me, my dad, Colson. We deserved more time" I say as my voice breaks I could see Colson and Rook looking at me with a worried look. "I can't," I say taking a step back the tears fully forming in my eyes "I can't do this," I say through tears as I run off the stage and out of the church. The warm air hit my tear-stained cheeks as opened the door. I hit my head against the wall as I bang my fist into it before I feel hands on my waist turning me around to them.

             I beat Rook in the chest with my fist as he tried his best to pull me in a hug. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" I shout as I continued hitting him as he pulled me closer. "I know, I know just let it out," he said holding me as he rubbed my back. I didn't even realize Colson, and Leaha were outside with us. "I want my mom back!" I screamed into his shoulders as I felt my knees weaken and I fell with him still holding me onto the ground. I opened my eyes my vision blurred through the tears I seen Leaha hands over her mouth crying as Colson comforted her. "she left us why did she leave us?" I asked pulling away from him. He placed his hands around my arms "She didn't have a choice baby" he said softly whipping my cheeks. I took a deep breath I wasn't ready to go back inside but my dad needed me. I stood up "Let us go back inside, I need to be with my dad." I said looking at them.

         It was the end of the funeral most people stayed to talk to my dad but not to me mainly because of the way I reacted I guess. Me, Cassie, Leaha, Rook, Colson and his bandmates just sat there and watched the photos that they had playing of my mom and our family. I leaned on Rook on the couch they had Colson had Leaha leaned on him as he held Cassie on the other couch. Colson bandmates sat in front of us on the floor no one said anything we just sat there and watched the photos. Then a title came up Christmas in July, Thank you Then the photos that I took that night played we were all so happy. One photo that I did not know existed was at the end It was of my mom looking at me and Colson as we helped Cassie open a present. She looked happy, proud and honestly beautiful in the photo. "I love you mom," I said as a tear rolled down my face.

A/N: Cancer is a hard battle to fight and I just personally want to say I am sorry for the ones who have lost loved ones to cancer. I understand.

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