The Only One - Remus Lupin x Reader [Book 2]

I'm Sorry

The rest of the Christmas holidays went by quite quickly and soon the kids were heading back to Hogwarts, causing Sirius to go back to being a miserable pain-in-the-ass. Remus went back to trying to persuade the werewolves to join our side if there was a war, so I was probably a miserable pain-in-the-ass too. 

One night, I was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Sirius lightly knocks on my door before entering the room.
"Cant sleep either?" I guess and he nods his head before getting into bed beside me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders. We both lay in silence for a moment.
"I have a fun idea." I say and Sirius gives me a confused look. I tell him my idea and he laughs before agreeing. 
And that is how we ended up building a pillow fort in the middle of the night. We may be thirty-six years old but we are definitely children at heart. 

We were joking around in the fort when we hear the door open. We both pick up our wands, which we had been using for light, and poke our heads outside the fort. Luckily, it was just a very confused looking Remus. 
"Hey, you're home." I greet him happily. 
"Yeah, I missed you," He says. "May I ask what you two have done?"
"We couldn't sleep-" Sirius says.
"So we built a pillow fort." I finish. "Care to join us." 
"Sure." 

We spent the rest of the night talking about our fondest memories from school. 

The next few months went by rather quickly, and one day, while me, Remus and Sirius were all spending time together in Buckbeak's room(yes, the hippogriff has its own room) when there was a sudden flash of a flame and a piece of parchment fell from it.
Sirius quickly reads it.
"Harry's in trouble, we need to get to the Department of Mysteries!" He says urgently and the three of us stand. 
"We should tell more people, before we just go storming in there where we'd probably be extremely outnumbered." I say quickly, and the two men nod. We quickly contact as many members of the Order as we could think of, before apparating to the Department of Mysteries. A few members of the Order were apparating there as well. 

When we arrived, there were Deatheaters holding Harry and his friends. Me, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Mad-eye and Kingsley began shooting spells at the Deatheaters. I noticed Lucius Malfoy getting closer to Harry so I shot a spell at him. He instantly turned around to face me, giving Harry the chance to get somewhere safer. 
"Get the fuck away from my Godson." I growl and he evilly smirks at me. We begin firing spells at each other. I begin winning our battle so he decides to apparate to the other side of the room.
"Coward." I mutter to myself before running over to where Harry was.

"Are you alright?" I ask him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He breathes. I lightly whack him on the back of the head.
"Then what were you thinking?" I ask.
"I-I though they had Sirius." 
"Don't you think that I would've noticed Sirius was missing and would've been trying to save him myself?"
"I didn't think of that." He admits quietly. I shake my head lightly.
"You were just doing the right thing, what matters is that everyone is alright." I say. "Stay here."
"But I want to help." Harry argues.
"You've helped enough," I say softly. "Just stay here and make sure you don't die." 

I stand up again and rush over to help Remus. He smiles at me but his eyes drift over to something happening behind me and his smile fades. I turn around just in time to see Sirius falling through the veil. It was like time slowed down as my heart shattered into a million pieces. I feel my legs crumble underneath me as I fall to the floor, tears falling down my face. This cant be real, this is all just some stupid nightmare that I'm going to wake up from. 
Though deep down I know this isn't a nightmare, nightmares don't hurt like this. 

I see Remus struggling to keep Harry in his grasp, Harry must've been trying to go after Bellatrix, she was the one who fired the spell that killed Sirius. I would've helped Remus, I just didn't have the emotional energy to get back onto my feet. Harry manages to escape from Remus arms and Remus for a moment seems as though he's debating running after Harry but instead drops down beside me and pulling me into his arms. I wrap my arms around Remus' shoulders and cry. 
I cant believe he's actually gone. 

Remus begins gently rubbing my back while muttering things in my ear, but my brain isn't processing any of the words he's saying. I can tell that he is crying too. 
We stay like this for a while, holding each other as we cry, but eventually Remus stands up, pulling me up with him. He continues to hold me close to him as all the other members of the Order help the kids.
"Stay here for a moment." He whispers in my ear. He lightly kisses the side of my head before walking over to Kingsley and saying something to him. He walks back over to me and pulls me back into his arms before apparating us away.

The weird feeling of apparating passes and I see that we are inside our cottage. Our home. 
"Lets go to bed." He says quietly. I simply nod my head in response, unable to form words, and we head upstairs to our bedroom. We still had some clothes left here so we got changed into our pyjamas and got under the covers. 

Remus, once again, held me close to him. I fell asleep quite quickly, hoping that when I woke up the next day and find out this was all just some horrible nightmare.

**********

I woke up the next morning in my bed with an empty feeling in my chest and an empty space beside me, where was Remus? 
My question was answered when I got a whiff of food coming from downstairs. I could feel the hunger building up in my stomach but I don't feel like getting out of bed, so I attempt to fall back asleep. 
My attempts are unsuccessful so I lay in bed with my eyes closed, listening to the sound of Remus making breakfast downstairs.

I soon hear Remus' footsteps coming up the stairs. He enters the room and I feeling him sit down beside my feet. I open my eyes and look over at him.
"I made you breakfast." He says softly.
"Have you had breakfast?" I ask, concerned that he might be caring more about me that he does about himself.
"Yeah, I had some earlier this morning." He says and I sit up. He hands me the food and I eat it. We sit in silence as we eat and I can feel Remus watching over me in concern but I avoid eye contact. 

I finish eating and Remus uses his wand to teleport the plate downstairs.
"I'm going back to Grimmauld to get our stuff," He says. "Do you want to come with me?"
I shake my head. "That's fine," He says understandingly. "I wont be long."
He kisses me on forehead before apparating out of the house. 
I sigh quietly to myself before lying back down and closing my eyes. 

The silence in the house was disturbing, I had gotten so used to randomly hearing Sirius wandering around Grimmauld or even Kreacher trying to steal any more of my parents belongings. 
I open my eyes again and glance around the room, catching sight of the picture of me, Remus, James and Sirius. We were all joking around one night and Lily found it amusing so she took a picture of it. It's one of my favourite pictures of us all. 

I can feel tears begin rolling from my eyes. I roll over so that I'm now laying on my stomach and cry into my pillow. I tightly hug the pillow as I uncontrollably sob. I hear the bedroom door open and I just assume that it's Remus, which it was. 
He sees me crying and is instantly by my side. He lies down beside me and I automatically wrap my arms around him and cry into his chest. He begins softly rubbing my back.
"Hey, don't cry, I'm here." He mumbles softly. I try my best to hold back the tears but nothing seems to be able to stop them.
I just want my brother back.

Right this is  a short ass chapter because I cant write it without fucking sobbing. I am so sorry, that is all I have to say because I know that most of you would've cried too. Now I'm sad and I'm also hungry and for some reason I smell garlic bread and I'm just wanting to eat and cry.
Once again, very sorry. 
Byeee