Being His Girl

Kabanata XVII

Sa bawat saya na nararamdaman,
Ang kapalit ay kalungkutan.
Ang oras ay susulitin,
Upang hindi mauwi sa pagsisisi.

———

Natapos ang bakasyon na iyon ng masaya. I didn't know that I can be more happy. Akala ko sagad na ang lahat ng saya na naramdaman ko but, Xavier made it more and I must say better.

I remember our kiss. Damn, it's my first fucking kiss and I gave it to him.

"I LOVE you, Gabie and I will always will."

Tinignan ko ang mga mata niya at ngumiti.

"I don't need an answer. All I want you to do is to let me... Let me love you and I promise to you I will never hurt you." He said and I can feel the sincerety in his voice. "Hindi ako mapapagod na mahalin ka. This is a gamble, Gabie, and I will win you. Know matter what."

As he said those words I realized. We didn't only risk our friendship. We also risk our heart. It's a fifty-fifty chance of winning. It's either we will win or we will both lose. Because  like what he said, this is a gamble.

At ang mga puso namin ang nakataya. Sa oras na manalo, mananatiling buo ang mga puso namin. Pero sa oras na pareho kaming matalo, pareho kaming masisira.

I always think is this worth to fight?

Pero palagi kong isasagot sa sarili ko. Paano ko malalaman kung hindi ko susubukan? Paano ko masasagot kung hindi ko gagawin?

"GAB, your Tita– Xavier's Mom, called me." My Mom said in the middle of our dinner. "She's asking about you. She asked me if she can talk to you."

Napatingin naman ako kay Mommy. The second one is unusual. Sa mga tawag ni Tita kay Mommy ay palagi niya akong kinakamusta. Pero nakakapagtaka naman na gusto niya akong kausapin ngayon.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know. Baka gusto Lang kamustahin si Xavier sayo. It's been months since they saw each other. She even told me that Xavier doesn't want to go in abroad. I guess, she misses her son." Kibit balikat ni Mommy.

Napatango ako. Ilang buwan na nga ring nandito si Xavier at sa ilang buwan na 'yon hindi umuuwi sila Tita. Baka hindi masyadong na-contact ni Xavier si Tita.

I WOKE up when I felt someone touched my face. I slowly open my eyes and I saw Xavier looking at me intently.

I smiled at him. How I like seeing his face everyday. Sometimes he looks so soft, yet, dangerous. May mga oras na minsan hindi ko magawa siyang tignan ng diretso sa mata. Dahil bukod sa nag-iiba palagi tibok ng puso ko ay nanlalamig din ako tuwing nakikita kong malamig ang paraan ng pagtingin niya.

"Hey," Sabi ko habang inaangat ang katawan at sinandal ang ulo sa headboard ng kama. Ngunit ang puson ko ay kumirot kaya bahagya pa akong napapikit.

"Aha, I texted you." He said while looking at my phone.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at tinignan kung May text niya nga at meron nga.

Xavier:

Let's go?

Xavier:

It's already 3pm. Where are you?

Xavier:

I thought you already agreed having our first date, huh?

Xavier:

I'm gonna go there.

Napapikit ako ng mariin.

I forgot.