Cancer (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 9

Zayn's POV

I don't know how long I stood there after Niall walked away. I ran my fingers over my still tingling lips. Wow. I can't believe I actually kissed him. My mind then drifted to him saying he was going in for surgery. Brain surgery to be exact. Why? He seemed scared about it, even if he was pretending he wasn't.

When he was talking saying if he made it out if surgery, I guess I just got caught up in the moment and kissed him. I didn't want to think I wasn't going to see him again. I think seeing everyday for probably three weeks straight, I started getting a little crush on him. He's cute to look at so it was hard not to grow some feelings towards the boy.

I started walking home, still thinking of Niall. He was probably in surgery right now. I need to plan the perfect date. I smiled at myself because I was actually letting this happen. Something so different in my life and I wasn't having a panic attack about it. Of course, I knew I couldn't stop going to the hospital everyday, that's the least I could do to honor them. It was my fault they aren't still here.

When I got home I sat on the couch and looked at my phone. I saw the time and took a deep breath. I calmed down enough to not have an attack because of how long I was out. I looked at the new number in my phone and saw the text Niall sent himself.

To Nialler:
          
Zayn is sexy and needs to smile more often. It's really beautiful.

I was smiling at the text and let out a small laugh. Maybe we can be something... No, he'll leave me just like Liam did. He doesn't seem like the guy that would, but Liam didn't either. I was feeling very conflicted right now.

I wanted Niall to be mine but the thing is, could he really be mine even after he knew everything? I tried to ignored my negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts of a perfect date. But my thoughts couldn't stay focused on that. Hope filled me as something new crossed my mind.

Could he be the one to save me from this prison I've been living in? Maybe he would care enough to help me, not judge me. I know I'm supposed to help myself but I feel stuck in my mind. I can't do it alone. Yet, I am alone and I feel like it will stay that way.

I got up and checked all the locks around my house four times. I made sure everything was off and went to bed early. I was worried about Niall and I was worried about my feelings for him. It's a change in my life and I hate change. But this change might be worth it. I just need to face my fear.

Niall's POV

I woke up, sort of. I could hear things but that was about it. My body felt numb and nothing really made sense in my head. I heard voices around me, but the things they said bounced around my mind without much understanding.

Was I dead? Am I on the footsteps of heaven? Shit, I died in surgery! I never even got to go out with Zayn! This kind of sucks. I mean I wouldn't be in pain anymore so that would be good, but I just started getting closer to Zayn.

The voices around me became less muffled and louder. Were they angels? I hope they looked like Zayn. He looks like an angel.

Focus, I thought. I needed to try to listen and get myself out of my thoughts. I don't like spending that much time with myself, I honestly make no sense.

I focused on one voice that I recognized, I just didn't know who it belonged to.

"When will he wake up? It's been two days!" The voice said, full of worry. It was a woman, I could tell that much. She said two days? I've been out that long?

"This procedure is tramatic for the brain, allot of things could happen because of this, but nothing permanent... hopefully." Another voice said. That one I didn't know at all. It was a man, or another woman with a really deep voice. I bet she would have really hairy arm pits. Ugh, see what I mean by I can't spend time with myself?

"What do you mean by that? There could be damage done to my little boy? You were just removing a tumor!" The woman yelled, with a shaky voice. She sounded like she was close to tears. I knew that voice, it was my mum. I hated when she cried, it made me feel physical pain because I was never good at comforting her. I would always try though.

I focused really hard on moving my hand. If I could touch her, I knew she would feel so much better. I thought of moving my fingers and I felt one of them twitch. That's a start.

"I'm sorry, Mrs.Horan, but where the tumor was lodged was in a vital area that could affect anything. We were careful and tried our hardest, but some parts had to be touched in order to remove it. If there is damage, it will heal. The nerves will just be in shock for a bit." That man told mum. I guess he was a doctor. I'm feeling proud of myself because I'm starting to think right again. I moved my fingers again then thought of moving my arm. This was harder than my fingers. I just kept wiggling my fingers.

"You should do yo- Niall?" She stopped yelling and must have notice me trying move.

"Baby, open your eyes." My mother told me softly, her voice still sounded like she was close to tears.

I tried opening them, but grunted because it was so hard. I kept trying over and over again. I grunted again because it was too hard! It was actually making me tired.

"Niall, one more time. Try one more time for mummy." She said, gripping my hand. I did one more time and felt my eyes open a bit, then close.

"Come on, let me see those blue eyes, bug." That nickname hasn't been spoken to me in years. I tried again and felt my eyes open fully.

"Niall?" Panic filled through my body. It was completely dark in the room. I hated darkness. I have always been afraid of the dark. It made the walls feel like they were closing in and when you have claustophobia, it's really terrifying. I turned my head whimpering slightly trying to find my mum. No where was she seen, though.

"Mum!?" I said fully panicked.

"What's going on?" She asked someone. I heard someone cuss under their breath and call for people. I heard footsteps come running into the room.

"Mummy, turn on the lights!" I cried. I felt tears running down my face. My head started hurting. I just wanted the lights on.

"They are on, baby." She told me sadly. I stopped moving and it all clicked in my mind.

I was blind...

A/N: who saw it coming?! Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans! Hope you eat allot and have allot to be thankful for! I know I'm thankful for allot this year! Comment/Vote!
                        - Bri ;)