Cancer (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 10

Niall's POV

If I could choose to go back and not have this surgery and die early from brain cancer, I would.

The doctors had just checked me out and said it wasn't permanent blindness but they didn't know how long it would last. I cried, my mum cried, my dad cried and most importantly my brother. He took the news the hardest but I think that's just because we did so much together that involved sight. Like football games or our child hood games of follow the leader and I spy.

He was my best friend. Of things change that could come between us. We could change. He took the news hard when I was diagnosed with cancer, now this. I felt horrible for putting him through this.

I pulled myself together and started thinking of Zayn. I could never see him again. Plus, he would never want me now that I'm disabled. I think he at least deserves to know that I'm not the same. I mean we both made plans for a date and we kissed. He needs to know this before he creates feelings for me. Before he starts to feel the way I do about him.

"Mum?" I asked not looking anywhere peticular, what's the point if you can't see.

"Yes, love? Are you feeling alright?" She asked me. I reached my hand out and she grabbed it. I hated feeling alone in this dark world.

"I'm fine, but I want to call someone. Can you do it for me?" God, I hate this. I can't do anything on my own. Soon someone will have to help me aim when I wee.

"Sure! What's the name?" She seemed excited to help me and not see me cry. I've done too much of that lately.

"Zayn." I told her. Even just saying his name brought butterflies to my stomach. I don't even know that much about him, other than his name and I'm feeling this way!

"Okay, here it's calling. I'm going to leave the room now." She told me after placing the phone in my hand. The door clicked closed so, I brought it to my ear and heard the ringing.

"Niall?!" Zayn's voice spoke through the phone. He sounded so worried.

"Yeah, hi!" I tried my best to sound happy, but it came out like disappointment.

"Oh my god! I was so worried! Are you okay?" He asked.

"Not really. Could you come to the hospital? I need to tell you something that needs to be done in person." I heard him take a sharp breath then nothing.

"Zayn?"

"Yeah, I'm coming right now." And with that he hung up. He won't want me now. Definitely not. Tears started running down my face again. I just turned over on the bed, being careful with my head, and cried into the pillow. Why can't I just have a normal life?

Zayn's POV

After I hung up, I stood up and ran to the door. I needed to get to him. My heart was pounding as I ran to the hospital. Thoughts of what could have gone wrong flashed through my head. Could he not be the same? What if he doesn't like me anymore? Did he realize I'm a fuck up and don't deserve him? I hope he's okay. He sounded so sad on the phone. I just need to hold him. I need to touch him. My Niall.

I arrived at the doors quicker than ever. I stopped out side them thinking of the last time I was here. I pushed those memories to the back of my mind and focused on Niall. I went to the desk and the lady looked at me.

"Well hi there, handsome! How can I help you?" She asked sweetly. Too bad I'm gay and that just really freaks me out, to be honest.

"What room is Niall..." I trailed off because I just realized I didn't know his last name. High five Zayn, for falling for a guy when you don't even know his last name.

"Zayn?" I woman's voice said from a hallway. I turned and I swear I was seeing Niall in a woman version. That must be his mum.

"Yes?" What do I say to her? She started walking towards me and I got nervous. What if she saw me kiss her son and now she's going to slap me? I would too if I were a parent but still I didn't want it to happen.

"I'm Maura Horan, Niall's mum. He, uh, he's waiting for you." She said sadly. I nodded and started walking behind her. I followed her silently down hallways and different doors to the intensive care unit. We arrived at the door and she stopped, turning to me.

"Please don't hurt him. He's very fragile right now and the last thing he needs is another heart break. I don't know you, but I can tell your a good guy. Just be gentle with my baby." She told me sternly, yet sweetly.

"Hurting him isn't something I'm planing on doing. Don't worry." I told her with a small smile and patted her shoulder. She wiped some tears from her face that had fallen and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and went in.

I heard sobbing coming from the bed that I could only see a lump in. I walked over and saw Niall with his head wrapped in bandage and he had IV's hooked to his right hand. His eyes were puffy and closed where tears fell. He looked like he weighed probably 90 pounds. But to me he still looked so cute and beautiful.

I leaned over and wiped his tears then kissed his lips. He whimpered and opened his eyes that seemed so distant.

"Zayn?" He croaked out.

"Yeah, it's me." I whispered sitting down on a chair beside him grabbing his hand. He had yet to look at me. He just looked straight ahead.

"Niall?" I asked wanted him to respond to me.

"I can't see Zayn. Something happened in the surgery and I woke up blind. They say it isn't permanent and my sight should come back, but I can't see!" He told me a whole new set of sobs wracked his body. My heart dropped to my stomach. He can't see? I felt bad for him because he's so young. But it's not permanent, he will get better.

"I understand if you never want to see me again. You probably want someone who can see how perfect you are. Someone who isn't sick all the time. I understand if you want to lea-" I cut off his tearful rambling by kissing him. He kissed back immediately

We moved our lips slowly and sweetly. Nothing heated, no tongue just a reassuring kiss. We pulled back and I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere. I don't leave people that I care about." I told him running my thumb lightly over her cheek. She smiled softly and moved one of his hands to touch my face. I smiled at his movements. His fingers ran over my cheeks to my nose, then my lips. I kissed his finger when they reached my lips. He let out a slight giggle. How can anyone be so cute?

"I have cancer, brain cancer." He whispered to me. His small smile fell but he kept running his fingers over my face. I felt like the room was closing in.

Cancer. That word didn't sound right coming out of his cute, addicting lips. His fingers traced over every part of my face. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"But your going to be okay now, right? You got surgery and you'll be better now." I was worried about him, but my words were more trying to comfort myself.

"I don't know. They said if they took the tumor out it might be gone forever or buy me more time. Once again, I wouldn't be hurt if you left. That's why my last boyfriend left. I'm too selfish." He said tears filling his eyes again. I kissed them away when they fell, then kissed his lips.

"Don't leave me." He whispered.

"I won't leave you, if you answer this one question the right way." I told him. His eyebrows scrunched together and he nodded.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Niall?"

"Really? Yes, of course! Now kiss me because I can't see you." He said with a big smile and a giggle. I leaned in and kissed him with so much passion. I'm sure all of London could feel the sparks.

"I'm by your side. Through everything. Only if you stay when you find out how crazy I really am." I said. I feel bad he told me everything and I know when he finds out my past and my life now.

"I already know your crazy. You're with me aren't you?" Maybe he was right. I was crazy. He was crazy. We're both crazy together and I couldn't ask for more.

A/N: I ate so much! Comment/Vote!
                                 - Bri;)