𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐲, collec. of sad poems

pg. 2: tides

MON. DEC. 30. 2019

dear nic (xnai, sny, or 'snay')

you were my sunshine. my heart. the confidence i once lacked but have mysteriously gained. the little ounce of 'not all boys are toxic' i didn't expect to come across.

for a month you've yanked out my bitter heart and held it up to the singing doves at heaven's gates. your powerful aura reeled me in so quickly. you were the person i adored in my dreams.

i was on a high. the feeling after coming home from a rough day and finally resting on a soft pillow. the feeling where you believe you've finally met your soulmate but neglected those thoughts because soulmates aren't real.

until i met you those thoughts have changed. i let my guard down. you had complete control over me.

i'm sorry i betrayed you. i'm sorry i wasn't aware you had feelings too. for so long no one has ever cared for mine. damn. i'm sorry i acted like them.

hearing the constant 'fuck your worries' effortlessly escape your lips ripped my heart into pieces.

my mind, my pride, my chakra, all bundled up in sorrow and guilt.

i will always love you even though you'll never feel the same. thank you for showing me what i perceived love to feel like.

... but why did i feel this way over someone i've met over an internet game?