Ouroboros

Twenty Seven

Twenty Seven.

He became aware that he was nowhere. All was cold and grey.

He was dead.

The realisation was accompanied by very human need to feel at the site where he had been impaled, fingers urgently exploring flesh that seemed whole but of course, didn't actually exist. He stared carefully, still feeling the agonising pain as the laser blade drove through his flesh...and then he forced it away. Would he feel that forever or would it fade as he faded?

There were echoes, distorted sounds of voices, rippling around him. It was like listening through water, everything magnified and muffled, all at the same time.

And then he heard her.

She was alive. It had worked, Thank the Maker, it had worked.

And he was dead. He had done everything he could to atone now...but it was fair. Every other member of his family as gone and he had finally fulfilled the Skywalker legacy. He had given his life for something he truly believed in. For someone he loved-just as his mother had given her life to reach him and draw him back to the Light.

But there was still something holding him there, an invisible thread that still bound him to Rey.

The Dyad Bond. It still existed. He could still hear and feel Rey.

Was this truly his punishment, to watch the woman he loved for the rest of his life, always longing, sharing her triumphs and disasters, maybe seeing her love another, live a full life, raise a family...without him?

Surely this was some form of Hell?

But he had made his choices-some freely made, some scavenged as the only option he had left when all else had been taken from him-and he had been offered chances to escape. Rey had wanted to save him...and maybe, had he taken her hand in the Throne Room, they would both be alive, they would both have survived. And maybe Luke and his Mom as well. All those deaths maybe could have been averted, both those of people who meant so much to him and the nameless legions who had died in the conflict.

It was all his fault.

If only he had taken her hand.

His heart ached. For the pain he had caused her so many times...and now, by taking her memories, her friends, her love and the Bond.

The Bond that still existed...

Focussing every ounce of his concentration, he snagged the tenuous connection and pulled...

-o0o-

No one said a word, all shocked by what they had seen. Kylo Ren's words had silenced and BB-8 had closed down his projector, staying beside Rey as she sobbed. The young Jedi stiffened as she felt arms wrap around her shoulders and the warm presence of Rose, who was hugging her. Unable to say anything, she just curled into the smaller woman and cried until her tears were exhausted. BB-8 shot off a stream of comforting beeps as she slowly looked up.

"Thanks," she sighed as Poe walked forward. His comm beeped and he automatically raised it to his lips.

"Dameron," he said shortly.

"General-are you safe?" Beau asked and Poe checked around his group. Finn was looking hugely conflicted and Poe didn't know what to think. Something about Ren's words had seemed...right, tugging at that irritating deja vu feeling that Poe had been fighting.

"Safe may not be the correct term," he admitted. "Finn, Rose and Rey are unharmed, if that's what you're asking."

"Rey?" Zorii's voice broke over the com. "He did it then?" There was an awkward pause.