delicate. / timothée chalamet au

thirteen.

after the meeting i slowly approached the sign out sheet, anxious about meeting tim at the end of the stairs outside. when damien called the end of the meeting tim was the first one to shoot up from his seat and out the door and to sign the sheet, while i on the other hand stalled for as long as i could.

as i went to open the front doors, ted, an old recovering addict held the door open for me. he smiled at me warmly while the cold october night breeze hit me.

"nice to hear about you tonight, rose," ted says while we walk down the stairs. i look up at ted and my nerves start to settle a bit.

"oh, thank you ted." he smiles at me sweetly as we say goodnight. i watch as he walks down the sidewalk then turn my head and see tim leaning on the side of the building staring at me. he acknowledges me with a simple eyebrow lift, and i greet him the same. i stand beside him and twiddle my thumbs.

there were a few moments of awkward silence before tim asks, "was that ted you were talking to just now?"

"uhm, yeah," i reply, my voice small.

tim nods slowly, his eyes trained to the ground. "his story is fucked up, don't you think?" he says finally looking up to me.

i sigh, "yeah, but you know it's sometimes hard to feel sorry for him-- given him abandoning his family." 

"no of course, but when he finally got clean and tried to reconnect he found out they died in a car accident i mean-- that's tough."

"yeah, that is sad." 

there's a few beats of silence.

"hey-- about your brother... i had no idea," tim says to me sadly.

"stop... it's really nothing for you to feel sorry about."

"how come you never told me? i mean we talked about him a lot?" he asks like he might be offended he didn't know.

"oh you know it never came up organically. y'know like yeah my brother is the god of gta, and now is deceased." i try saying in a lighthearted manner trying to shift this conversation to a lighter place.

tim laughs lightly, which makes me sigh in relief.

he looks at me and sees me shivering slightly, "hey, you must be freezing-- here." 

tim starts to take off his hoodie. "hey-- tim you don't have to--"

but before i can object he has already put the hoodie over my head. i pop my head out of the opening and slide my arms in the oversized sleeves. i look over to him, he's wearing a long sleeve shirt. "thank you but aren't you gonna be cold?" he looks at me warmly, "no, i'm good."

"well thanks, again." i say softly while covering my hands in the big sleeves of his hoodie. 

then comes the next few moments of silence, but it isn't awkward-- it's almost comforting.

i decide to start the conversation up again, "listen about leaving the other da--" i start and am cut off by tim putting his hand up signaling me to stop.

i stop and am suddenly very scared about what he seems to be thinking about very intently. he looks down at me and for the first time really looks into my eyes. he sighs and runs his hands through his messy curly hair. he stares blankly straight ahead of him. my eyes leave his profile and settle on the floor. 

it's like this for a while. dread is bubbling up in me so much so that when i see a piece of chewed up gum beside my foot, i kind of wish i could be it so this can be over with.

"i wanna show you something." tim says, his voice loud and full of confidence, finally breaking the tensions filled air. i look up from the ground fast and meet his eyes which have grown hard.