delicate. / timothée chalamet au

twenty two.

Three days later...

I walk towards the door I've grown more accustomed to seeing than my own. Talking a moment to build up the courage to knock on it, I hear an intrusion of Blakes voice echo in my head.

"When you get to his place, you need to act in a rush, like you just need to get your shit, and be done with him." I recall Blake saying this while tauntingly glaring at the camera that had the power of making the person I love the most hate me in an instant. I can hear faint footsteps approaching behind the closed door.

"And if I don't do it?" I asked Blake in defiance. "Well then I'll send him this photo, and tell him all about what really happened that night." His possessive smirk making my skin crawl.

The door in front of me creaks open, the warm air from inside wafts across my cool skin, as I turn my vision from my feet to the man in front of me.

"Rose?" Tim asks groggily, rubbing the tired vision from his eyes to make sure it's really me in front of him.

"Hi." I try to say calmly, not letting any emotion leak through my features, even though it's taking everything in me not to just collapse into a puddle of tears in front of him.

"I-- I didn't know you'd be coming over?" He asks as he tries to flatten his tousled up hair.

"Well, I was in the area," I lie.

There's a beat of silence, both of us taking in the others presence, unable to think of anymore small talk.

"I've been calling you. I've missed you," Tim breaks the silence, leaning in for a hug, and the second his finger touches mine I take two steps back. The subtle hurt on his face he tries to mask after my actions makes me want to vomit.

"I want you to make sure he knows you don't love him." I try to shake Blake's voice from my mind.

"I'm just here to get some things I forgot to take from the other day..." I can't meet his eyes, because if I do, there is no way for me to keep up this charade.

"Oh, um... of course, come in."

Even in the most heartbreaking of times, he still finds a way to be a gentleman. I make my way through the door, catching a whiff of his natural scent. He smells of home. He smells like the room i'm walking into, a space i'll never see again after this.

"He'll know I'm lying," I said to Blake as he put the camera in his safe. I remember how he smirked at me, knowing how desperate I was to find a way out of this. 

"Oh, Rosie... you don't think I remember how good of a liar you can be? I mean, I'm sure your little Timothee has had no inclination that you even knew his dead sister. So if you think about it, he's been believing your lie this whole time."

I look at him bewildered. "I didn't... I wasn't 100% sure, I wasn't even thinking. I haven't even been able to remember most of my adolescence because of you!"

"Rosie, you're not getting out of this by playing a victim card, you understand? You need to make it believable, like there isn't a single thing he can do about it. But, most importantly, make it unforgivable." Blake looks me up and down like he can see the goosebumps form from wherever his eyes meet my skin.

I want to pull my hair out, I feel the entire world spinning around me and every moment of happiness I've ever had go so far out of view I can't recall if they were real or something I dreamt of. 

"Are you okay?" Tim asks me as I take my hands out of my hair.

I shake my thoughts off. I haven't even said one word yet and I'm already blowing my cover.

"Yeah, do you mind if I take a seat?" I ask looking over to our-- correction, his bed.

"Why are you asking? Of course you can, it's yours too." I can hear the strain of confusion in his voice. I sit on the bed where most our best memories were made. My body sinks into the mattress as if it was waiting for my familiar shape. 

I still have yet to look at him, and if I plan this right, maybe I won't have to.

"Hey," Tim approaches me like he just read my mind. He crouches in front of me and places his cold hand on my hot skin, pulling my face to meet his. My eyes don't dare to look up. "Please look at me Rosie."

I can't. How can I?

I reluctantly drift my eyes away from the safety of his bed sheets over to his face that is too close for comfort. That's when I see it, right in his eyes. 

Pain. Something not related to anything from his past, but more specifically because of who is reflected in the blue and green of them. Me. 

"Why do you want to hurt him more? He's been through enough because of you!" I shout at Blake.

Blake laughs at my misfortune. He turns over to his safe again. He makes sure to cover his code from me, and when he opens it I accept he will wave the camera in my face again. Yet, he pulls out a sheet of paper. It's from awhile ago I gather from the crumpled and slightly stained color of it. 

Blakes eyes scan the sheet, he's reading whatever it entails and I can see how his breathing changes. 

He finally looks up at me.

"I want you to hurt him the way she hurt me when she left me."

As I look at the man I love in front of me, it feels as if it was the first time I was really seeing him. A man who is gentle, kind, and deserved the best that life had to offer yet was dealt a terrible hand. 

"I can't be with you anymore." I say softly.

I force myself to stare into his eyes so he can't question how sure I am of what I've just spoken out. I stare so that after whatever comes out of him is the last of this conversation. I keeping looking so this is the last lie he ever has to hear from me. As time passes, I keep looking, as he does the same, and I start to see it. What I've been dreading and what I know has to be done locks into my mind again.

He doesn't believe me.

~~

hi... how y'all doin??

i know it's been forever and i hate writing these notes after a chapter cause i know nobody cares but, thank you guys for finding my little story and making me feel like i need to give it more love with every comment you make. 

if anyone is still here, this is for you!