delicate. / timothée chalamet au

sixteen.

six months later...

i'm laying on tims bed, cig in my mouth, playing gta with one of his oversized sweaters on.

i love these moments, where nothing else outside this room exists. no past skeletons, no pain, no guilt. just me, him, and gta. it's moments like these where i wish i could freeze time, so i can keep this content whole feeling i get when our days are like this for a little while longer.

"hey, babe?" tim asks from the kitchen.

babe. i will never forget the first time he called me that.

we were standing outside an afternoon meeting, both taking a smoke break. i was trying to light my cig, yet kept failing to. he started to make fun of me saying, "if you need help i can just do it for you babe- rose." as soon as that name fell out of his mouth he scrunched up his face as if he just tasted something sour. he started to stammer obviously embarrassed, "um-- i meant like-- if you just need help to-- i could help you light it-- rose." his eyes only staring at the floor.

i remember a warm feeling spreading through my stomach and lighting up my heart. at that time we were fairly a new thing, and we both were still a bit unsure of the depth of how the other felt about the situation. i think it was that moment i knew, i wanted everything with this boy. every laugh, every awkward stammer, every tear, every challenge. 

this was the person i was meant to create memories with.

i had this huge surge of adrenaline, and i bent down to meet his face that was still hung low and focused on the ground, and kissed him. i kissed him softly, to let him know it was okay. that this is okay. what we are, what we'll hopefully become is okay. 

i can still remember the hint of mint i tasted when i kissed him. i remember feeling his smile grow and hearing him sigh in relief. i remember the look in his eyes as we just stood there, leaning on the side of our NA building, breathing in each other and trying to savor that moment.

it was one of those small moments where everything becomes so crystal clear. when you both have this realization that you've actually found someone you can envision yourself experiencing every milestone with. i knew he felt the same when he reached for the loose strands of my hair and fondly pulled them behind my ears. it was in his eyes, those beautiful green eyes, eyes i could get lost in, eyes that can pull me back to reality, eyes that grew to be my undoing; my weakness. 

tim slowly realized throughout the first month that with one look into his eyes, i'd agree to anything and he could get away with absolutely any stupid argument we were having.

we became that super cliche couple that did shit like making pancakes in the morning together but end up burning them because we got distracted making out, or tim picking up coffee on his way home and not even asking what kind i wanted and surprising me with it, or being able to talk about meaningless crap all night until the sun came peeking through his windows. 

our first date was at kfc, naturally, and i remember that night being the night the awkward new relationship stage vanished. it was the first time, since the night we met at joe's, we had sex. it was different this time, full of laughter and tender gazes. and after that night i've basically been living at his apartment. 

after a few times of me going to my apartment to sleep, and us deciding we didn't wanna be that clingy couple, it took about thirty minutes to an hour for one of us to call and say we missed the other. at some point we just gave up and accepted the fact that we were that clingy couple.