delicate. / timothée chalamet au

fourteen.

i wake up to the feeling of tugging on the ends of my hair. i turn my face to the wondrous view of seeing tim gazing at me. i look down to my hair and see he's absent-mindedly twirling it. "morning," i whisper.

"morning," he replies his voice deep full of small remnants of sleepiness. tim quickly takes his gaze off of me and stares up to the ceiling smiling softly to himself. "why are you smiling?" i ask teasingly, he looks back at me softly. "nothing, just--" he looks down at his hand which is still swirling in my hair and he releases its grasp and places said hand on top of his chest.  i can see the slightest faint rose color spreading across his face. my heart flutters at the sight.

"what time is it?" i ask trying to switch up the topic. tim grabs his phone from the counter and sits up, "it's ten," he shows me his phone screen. we both share a  uncertain look, knowing the morning meeting will be starting in fifteen minutes. 

"do you want to go the meeting?" he asks the question first. i tuck the loose strands of my hair behind my ear, and shyly look down. "i-- actually don't feel the need to go today" keeping my gaze strictly on my fingers smoothing out the wrinkled sheets under me. "yeah-- me neither," tim says back. i look up at him and see him smiling down at me. we're staring at each other for a little too long before i break the gaze and clear my throat. tim does the same before shuffling off his bed, "you want some coffee?" he asks over his shoulder. "ahh, yes please."

i start after him after grabbing my phone from its charger. i place my phone beside him as i watch him pour two us cups of coffee. 

"hey, do you remember that day when damien called us out, and you said we met at a cafe?" i look up at him wide eyed. of course i remember that, it's on my list of most humiliating moments.

"oh my gosh! i completely forgot about that," I brush off as tim hands me my cup of coffee.

"cheers to finally getting coffee together for real i guess," i say as we clink cups, and tim winks at me humorously.

just then, my phone starts to ring-- and like it was a bomb going off tim jumps, slightly spilling his coffee on the floor. 

since tim is leaning on the counter where my phone is i have no way of knowing who the caller is, and honestly in this moment i couldn't care less. so i let it ring.

yet. tim turns back to look, and in an instant his whole demeanor changes. he steadily takes hold of my phone and passes it to me, without ever taking his eyes off my screen.

"you still talk to roger?" he asks me. i look at him confused. i look down at my phone.

Incoming Call:

Roger (damien)

i mute it and turn my phone over. i can sense the awkward tension that's in the room now. tim looks visibly different, which is odd, because i've been ghosting roger since the day of our first date. 

"hey you good?" i ask him.

he has his jaw clenched and his lips pressed tightly together, "yup." he replies curtly a forced smile spreading across his face, before walking pass me back to his bed.

well, fuck then.

he can't actually be so affected by roger calling me, like what? if anything this is just further confirmation that he may feel the same way towards me. cause a friend would never get that salty if another guy called unless they had feelings for them, right? 

ugh, why am i even thinking this way? like, get a grip rosie, fuck.

i walk over to his bed to find tim glued to his phone, blocking me out. i grow to dislike that there is this awkwardness in the air so i decide it's probably time that i leave. "hey-- actually i forgot i have to meet up with my mom for lunch-- and she's always on me on being late so-- i better get going," i say as i place my cup back in the kitchen.

he smiles fakely up to me, and then it hits me how i said my mom was on a three month cruise last night. fuck, another humiliation highlight.

i suddenly can't get out of there faster. all of what happened last night at the bridge keeps rushing back to me, and how strongly i know my feelings towards tim are now.

this is getting too real now.

"i'll see you later?" i ask but don't wait for an answer as i close his front door and lean back onto the wall right beside it, releasing a huge breath. i run my hands through my hair roughly. "fuck," i whisper. i glance at tims door, my mind is racing in a supercut of memories of tim. tim smiling, tim playing video games, last night at the brooklyn bridge. i start to think about how tim is one of the only people that i've ever met in my life where i truly feel understands where i come from. 

and i know, if i leave right now-- i'm only going to regret it. i know myself at least that well. also if i leave right now things between tim and i may never be the same. he's only going to give me so many chances.

"why am i doing this?" i ask myself. i stand up straight, facing his door.

fuckitfuckitfuckitfuckit.

right when i'm about to knock on the door again, tim opens the door in a rush. his eyes are red and his hair disheveled looking as he looks down at me with a confused expression on his face.

we make intense eye contact. heart stopping eye contact.

i suddenly realize why he looks this way and mentally curse at myself for not noticing sooner. he looks like i feel. he does feel the same way.

"i was just on my way to the afternoon meeting," his voice small mumbles out.

"did you forget something?" he asks. i shake my head. "can we-- can we talk... inside?" i ask.

he backs away slowly giving me room to walk through the door. he stops in the middle of his small hallway. he's leaning on one side of the wall and i'm leaning on the other. we're facing each other, just inches apart.

and we just stood there, looking at each other saying nothing, but it was the nothing and the look in tim's eyes that spoke everything.

i cautiously inch closer to him and tuck the strands of his loose hair out of his face behind his ear.

we stay like that for a while, looking back and forth from each other's lips and eyes.

fuck it, rosie...

i quickly kiss him and he instantly kisses back. 

we break apart and both see we have soft smiles tugging on both our lips. he grabs my face again pressing his lips against mine hungrily. and the minutes rolled by as if they were seconds. and not to sound cliche or anything, but you know what they say about fireworks? yeah that's true apparently. i've never experienced a kiss like this, whenever i'd hookup in high school it was always so boring and gross i couldn't wait for it to be over. but this is what they show in the movies and describe in detail in romance novels. and it may even be better.

we break apart and catch our breath. my forehead is resting on his.

"fucking finally," he whispers against my lips.

i smile up at him, "yeah, about damn time."

---

the slow burn has ended!! hope everyone is safe quarantining at home, the next few chapter are wholesome, because the world is literally shutting down and we could all use some fluff.