The two walked in an awkward silence, hands to themselves, Julian stumbling every now and then. Once they made it to Julian's flat, Julian struggled to unlock the front door, dropping his keys.
L sighed, watching him sadly. She reached forth and placed a hand on his forearm, letting him know she'll do it. The front door clicked unlocked and she swung it open, flipping on the lights. She gulped, seeing that the number of beer bottles had multiplied. No longer did they just spot the coffee table, but it was now completely covered, and a row was beginning to line the floor by the bottom of the couch.
Shocked, she turned to look at him. He was ashamed, wishing he'd cleaned up the place before he took off earlier this evening. He knew how sad his life must have looked — a physical manifestation of his thoughts.
She blinked at a loss for words, staring at him as he looked down. She'd forgotten how alone he was, and she wanted to apologize right then for abandoning him, but she couldn't find it in herself own up to it. She wasn't responsible for his happiness.
"Let's get you to bed," was all L said.
Julian nodded timidly as she locked up the front door. L trailed after Julian towards his room where he plopped down onto his bed, never raising his head. She clicked on the dim lamp next to him. His sheets were kicked to the edge of the mattress, and more beer bottles littered the bedside tables and dresser.
L helped him shimmy off his leather jacket as he kicked off his worn-out sneakers. He laid down gently, watching L's figure hang up his jacket in the closet. He'd never thought she'd be in his room again, but there she was, taking care of him in his drunken slump.
She walked out silently, and he felt the lump grow in his throat, realizing it was probably the last time he'd see her. She had to have been done with him, and he couldn't bring himself to stop her. She deserved someone better. No matter how much he'd convinced himself that he could treat her better than any other guy she met, he couldn't offer her what those rich men could. Julian sniffled, staring at the blank wall across the room, knowing L was better off without him.
L came back with a glass of water. She gave him a small smile as she set it on his bedside table, Julian staring at her in disbelief that she didn't abandon him. He watched her walk to the door, spinning around to lean on the doorway.
"You wanna meet up for lunch tomorrow?" she offered, wanting to make sure he was sober when they talked and subtly asking him out on a date.
Julian didn't get the hint. He could feel that this was it, and she'd probably stand him up or break his heart over the meal.
"Yea," his voice came out raspy.
"I'll stop by," she smiled. As she leaned up off the doorframe, Julian immediately sat up.
"Stay?" he suggested. L's heart sunk when she saw how terrified he looked that she was leaving. He was just too scared to let her slip away again. L sighed, not wanting to get into another drunken argument with him but not wanting to leave him either. She gave him a sad smile as she walked over and took a seat next to his laying figure, turning to face him.
"What do you want, Jules?" she asked gently, wanting to get to the point of all of this. If he wanted to be with her, he needed to just say it and stop dancing around the idea; if he didn't, he needed to let her know and admit he had a problem. He was being stubborn in not wanting her to leave while he wasn't in his right mind. She knew they were both going to end up hurt, and she just wanted to get it over with. If he didn't want to try and sort this out while he was sober, she was going to make him face what he was asking for.
"You," he said innocently, hoping she would would just give in and say she wanted him too.
She subtly shook her head at his vague response. Julian was crestfallen at her reaction as if it wasn't what she was asking. He didn't understand why his answer wasn't good enough for her — why he wasn't good enough for her.
