Julian laid his head on L's lap. They were on the beach, the cool sand beneath them as the only sound was the soft waves. She gazed down at Julian admiringly as they were both faltering in and out of their tipsy states. Julian's eyes were closed, and she was running her hand through his hair. It was so peaceful. It was something she'd never experienced before.
There was something about each other that made the other feel so comfortable and as if they were the only two on Earth. It was like the world was revolving around just this moment. They both basked in the feeling, for neither L nor Julian had ever felt this way before. L was always bustling with business meetings, and Julian had never let anyone in before, not that anyone cared much for him.
Julian's eyes fluttered open, looking up and landing on L's adoring face. He couldn't believe he'd spent all this time with her when he thought he had no chance when he saw her earlier that night.
"I don't want this night to end," he said truthfully, his eyes darting between hers. Her lips curled into a smile as she exhaled heavily in reaction to the butterflies in her stomach. Julian sat up onto his elbows. "Why'd you ask me to the party?" he asked curiously, wanting to finally get a feel for how she saw him and if it was anything like he felt about her.
"You looked so rebellious," she squinted with a playful smile, "Thought it'd be funny to see the looks on everyone's faces." Something about the way Julian was so effortlessly cool would have triggered the try-hard posh people. Maybe everyone would realize how incredibly meaningless it was trying so hard to impress people they didn't even like. L felt an immense connection with Julian, and he didn't even have to try, and she wanted to show everyone that the way they looked and how much money they had meant absolutely nothing to her.
She nearly laughed at how stupid the party was, but the look on her face fell when Julian fully sat up, his eyes furrowed in disbelief.
Julian realized her half-sober confession essentially told him she picked him up to rub it in her friends' faces that she wanted to just rebel. It may have just been the alcohol fighting to leave his state of mind, but he snapped with the idea that the whole night had been fueled by the fact that she was using him as an excuse to get away from everyone she currently knew and not because she truly wanted to get to know him. He'd fought so hard to convey that he wanted the night to mean something and show her how well they got along together, hoping she'd actually see him, but she only used him as something as a plaything to dangle in her friends' faces. He'd never spent more than an hour in someone else's presence and had never told anyone about his past, and he found he'd opened up to nothing but a shallow shell.
"So, you used me because you knew you didn't fit in?" Julian bitterly looked over his shoulder back at her.
L froze, sobering up and realizing her words didn't quite come out how she meant it.
"You used me to show them- what- that at least you weren't someone like me?" he said, shaking his head before running his hands over his face with frustration.
This wasn't what he wanted hear. He didn't want to know that she never felt a connection. He didn't want to find out that the way he looked was just a mockery to everyone at the party — including her.
"This whole time I was just some joke to you," he stated blankly, wondering how he'd been so blind to the fact that she was powerful, and he was still a nobody. He wanted to scream or throw something at how stupid he felt about fawning over her all night. But, instead, he stood up and dusted himself off. L immediately jumped to her feet. Julian tried to walk away so she wouldn't see how much she'd hurt him, but she reached over and quickly grabbed his hand.
"Jules," she pleaded, "I didn't mean it like that." He shook her hand from his, avoiding looking at her with his back still turned towards her. "Jules," she repeated desperately, as he groaned and spun around. He felt wrong to ignore her pleas; a girl that looked like her shouldn't be begging someone that looked like him. She placed her hands on his waist, not wanting him to leave. "I'm sorry," she owned up to her confession.
He scoffed, "I knew this was all too good to be true." His unenthused eyes trailed up to the sky above her then to the side, not wanting to give into her hypnotizing gaze.
"No-" she spoke up, "I mean- yea, I thought you were different, but I wasn't using you." His squinted eyes landed on her, still hurt. "At first- yea- I thought we'd laugh about the looks on everyone's faces, and that was it. Figured we'd have a few drinks and just laugh about it," she admitted.
He nodded his head with a jutted jaw, the pain only growing at her words. She didn't want him to stay with her as long as he did. She started the night wanting nothing but a good laugh out of him. He placed his hands on hers, gently taking them off him and guiding them back to her sides. He was heartbroken, wanting to fulfill her wishes of just leaving.
"I should have left as soon as I saw you go upstairs with that guy," a flash of pain shown in Julian's eyes, and she realized he was still holding a grudge against her and Marcus. L's face fell at his statement. Not only did Julian's mind travel to the instance at the party but also to the fact that she didn't defend that she was already with Julian to that guy at the bar. It took Julian this long to see that she didn't want people to know they were together. Julian shook his head, discovering that her feelings towards him were nowhere near what he thought he was reading from her.
"Nothing happened with Marcus," she reiterated, "I wanted to be with you." Her words were forward, but she hoped he would overlook the reason she asked him to go with her and realize why she didn't want them to part, "I didn't know how much I'd end up liking you. I didn't want this night to end either."
Julian's eyes darted towards hers at the confession, and she could see how badly she was pleading for him not to leave. It hit Julian how desperate she was for him to not walk away. He'd never had a girl beg him not to to walk away from her. And he couldn't believe it was L — the girl who'd walked into his store earlier who he couldn't keep his eyes off of; someone he couldn't believe even gave him the time of day. He couldn't let this slip away.
"Do you really mean that?" his eyes softened, finding that if she really thought he was just some sort of joke, she would have let him leave as soon as he said he wanted to during the party. She wouldn't have left with him, and she wouldn't have stayed with him this entire time.
She nodded, and he immediately embraced her. For the first time, he was finally getting confirmation that she was feeling something towards him. If this was their only night together, he didn't want it to end on a bitter note. And, if he allowed the tension to continue, he was sure that would have ended their time together just then. L was relieved at the feeling of him completely enveloping her. They hadn't been this close all night, and neither of them wanted to let go.
"I really like you, Jules," she said truthfully, her cheek pressed against the flannel of his chest. She wanted him to know that he was so much more than just some guy she decided to take to a sleazy party. His embrace tightened with acknowledgment at her confession, shivers crawling through his body as he let her words soak into every fiber of his being.
They both pulled away, noticing the sky's hue was turning to that of a soft dark blue, the sun beginning to come up.
"You should probably get home," she said, insinuating that the sunrise should signify the end of their night together. She was glad that at least it ended on a good note with no hard feelings and nothing so much as a one-night stand. She was pleased that he was different just as she'd been hoping for. She was more-so just amazed that she had experienced something so meaningful that she'd never had with anyone before. She couldn't help but think he was amazing, and she was excited that the memory of them could live on in her imagination.
"Not without you," he said, his mouth in a straight line, afraid that his statement may have been too forward.
Julian braced himself for rejection, knowing that she was trying to tell him it was time for them to part. He wanted to kiss her; he wanted to show her he didn't want this to be a one-time thing in which they would walk away from one another and never speak again. The slim chance that she'd come back to this side of town and walk into his convenience store again frightened him. He was terrified he'd never see her again, but he didn't want to scare her away either.
L was pleasantly surprised that he was insisting she go back to his place. Though she didn't want it to end just as all of the other parties in which she'd go home with some guy, she wasn't necessarily opposed to it with how fond she was of Julian at this point.
"Only if you promise to make me some coffee," she smiled.
