Imagine Japanese style bullying.
When you come into the room. The classmates are chatting/talking. But they stop their doing and go away from that room silently. One by one. No one talks to you. No words. Even if no greetings. No smiles (as if you are invisible). And...they get together again and observe you like big brother.
Or they say that you are weird. Why? What? Probably you ask them that why you have to be said weird. It's maybe that you are the heavy Nirvana listener. It's maybe that you have brilliant sense of fashion or skill of exercises. It's maybe that you are just being there and that is full of humor. But these don't make sense. There are a lot of Nirvana listeners and talented people.
They choose you as the target Because you are yourself. And this is nonverbal common sense. They can communicate each other as they use telepathy. That's all.
Then Why I have to be hated because I am myself? This is in short the message "DON'T BE!"
I was suffered that the people who smiled punch and kicked to me. The people who smiled said to me "Die alone!" "Go home!" "WE HATE YOU!" I was the bottom of the slave for them. I was a pinball and they kick me just with fun. I was a piece of game "bullying". Strong hateful word and hateful act suffered me so I killed my emotion. I didn't cry. I was a dead man walk, eat and...sleep.
That happened in 1990. I was born in 1975. So I was the middle of teenagers but I felt that I was the prisoner or old age man to die soon. I have deep melancholy and apathy to live.
Why a 16 years old boy have to live hard life like this?
