Surviving Life (Like A Pro)

2 - Are you that blasted boy?

Writer's block.

The absolute devil. The nightmare of every single writer out there, of any kind, and I don't know if it's just me, but it takes me forever to shake it off. And after I do, a month later, it comes and annoys me again.

It feels like when I finally have a fantastic idea that I thought of, or overheard some funny ass dialogue outside, and I'm so ready to get back to writing, but when I'm in front of the keyboard or holding up a pen, all those ideas go poof. Countless amounts of half-written drafts have been discarded to my inner recycling bin or forgotten.

I know I've said this before, but I didn't want my current conquest, How To Suck At Life, which I'm the most proud of, to suffer the same plight as its predecessors.

I've tried so many ways to cure my writer's block. I've taken a break, in fact, probably one too many breaks, and yet when I'm back in the mood to write, anything that comes out of my imagination just sucks. I've tried asking mother nature for help, brainstorming ideas while breathing in the fresh air in our town's park, but all the inspiration I get is related to punching trees and breaking bones. I've tried typing online, writing with a pen, and even going to one of my friend's house to borrow their typewriter for a day, but to no avail. I've tried free writing, but I swear, go to your nearest bookstore and pick up a Baby Strawberry Shortcake Book, I guarantee you that you will have a more enjoyable time reading that than mine.

Deanna says I criticise myself too much. Joash says I need to just continue writing my shit.

Why is writing so hard?

Sometimes I think that I'm done with writing, but the thing is, I have never really finished a story in my life. But I want to. I want to finish a story.

But it's so hard.

And this clinic here, The Unblocking Clinic, claims to be able to make my writing life two hundred times easier, and get rid of my on and off writer's block which I've been trying to get rid off the last few years?

I call bullshit.

If I've already been trying for so many ducking years, how is this, able to just waltz in and solve all my problems? Am I so utterly terrible at writing? Am I too melodramatic? Yes?

What even is a writer's block clinic? Is this a troll? Am I going to go all the way to the store in between the pizza and flower shop to only find the construction crew still there, busy painting the front?

While thinking all this, I subconsciously walked over to the sofa and just stood in front of it. Probably thinking that I had lost countless brain cells, Deanna, still sitting on the floor, reached over to slap my knee.

"Gwenny." Dragging out my name, she continued to slap my knee.

I showed her the advertisement.

"Should I go? I really want to. But I'm scared that if I get hopeful and all that and this is really a troll then I'm gonna be very sad."

While I was talking, Joash stood beside me, the deformed hanger hanging on his right pinky. He swung the hanger, nearly hitting Deanna. The two of them exchanged looks.

Without speaking a word to me, the two of them took my by my arms and brought me out of the apartment.

∆∆∆

"We're going to the clinic?"

Deanna nodded her head.

"If we didn't bring you out you'll probably take like, I don't know, two months before you stepped inside that clinic."

I gave Joash a what-utter-bullshit look.

He was right though.

While we were just minding our own business, walking down the path to the pizza place, a woman just stepped in our path and pointed her finger at Joash's face.

Bewildered, we waited until the woman, arms akimbo, eyes probably glaring at us behind her sunglasses, said something.

"You!"

"Me?"

"Yes you! Are you Evan Harolds?"

"No?"

She took off her sunglasses, and squinted her eyes at Joash.

"Do you know a female named Maddie Hales? Are you that blasted boy that knocked her up?"

"What? No! I- I'm not Evan Hillrold or something like that madam! My name's Joash!"

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

You'll just have to believe Joash ma'am. Despite his laughable face that leads people to have the impression of him as being a jokester and prankster that doesn't take anything seriously, he is indeed telling the truth now.

"Madam, here is my ID. You see, I'm not Harry Evan, I'm Joash." He showed her his card, covering everything with his forefinger and thumb except for his name.

"Huh. That's weird. I was so sure you were that boy that got my daughter preganant! The two of you really look quite similar. I swear, Maddie's boyfriends are all good looking lads in need of some education on the risks of STIs."

Wait, the guy is good looking? How did the lady manage to mistake Joash as him?

"I'm really sorry for causing you trouble. Gosh darn, that Evan Harolds sure is good at hiding..."

After seeing the lady walk off, Joash spun around and slapped both Deanna and my shoulder. "Why didn't you guys explain that I'm not Evan Harris to that madam?"

"Sorry bro, but I don't think she was gonna take our word."

"Yeah, she probably saw you walking in between Deanna and me, your arms slung around our shoulders while you laugh like...like some guy who lost his marbles."

Evan slightly rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, we're almost reaching the pizza place and flower shop."

As we walked the last around hundred steps to the pizza shop, I looked out for any long queue beside the pizza shop and the flower store, or any congratulatory flowers welcoming customers into the newly open clinic, or just anything. But, everything was normal. A normal size queue for the pizza shop, no visible crowd around the area beside it, and a stand outside the flower shop selling exotic bouquets.

Was this really a troll? A waste of time?

When we reached that space in between the flower shop and pizza store, I didn't dare to look at the store name.

It's ok if it's not there. You were expecting it anyway. It's of course best if it's there, but if this whole thing was a troll, you were also expecting that bad outcome too.

I looked up.

The Unblocking Clinic was what I saw.

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Please point out any errors as I rushed this out before the deadline for the first round and before my sleeping time

I appreciate all of y'all

Remember to drink lotsa water

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