Your Creation • Zarry

10. Torture

Tour had finally begun at the end of February. We had just won a BRIT award and I was on such a solid high with how life was going. Zayn and I had decided that the both of us wanted to keep hooking up, but we had to be prepared for how much more difficult it would be; we both agreed to stay patient and understanding for when we had that opportunity again.

We settled into London for our first show that night and I already knew this tour was going to be mad because we had the 5SOS boys with us who were absolutely out of their head and we were still being filmed for the documentary at the same time. Although it was quite exciting to be doing so much exclusively for our amazing fans, the downside was that it also meant we had an even smaller amount of privacy on the road, which was a major struggle lined up for me and Zayn.

The boys and I had our own suites in a London hotel since we were performing for two nights there, which was a huge plus side. There was nothing better than when we performed multiple nights somewhere, because that meant we didn't have to sleep on the tour bus, even though Louis and Zayn had sometimes preferred it because they were weird. After I got settled in to my hotel room, I walked down the hallway to Zayn's room, finding all the boys hanging out.

Louis and Liam were already messing around chucking fruit at each other from a welcome platter and Zayn was chilling in his room while putting some of his things away and he was wearing my shirt, the Rolling Stones one that he loved so much. It looked better on him, I thought. Everything looked good on Zayn anyway. I know I've said this far too much in the past, but he really was the most attractive person I had ever seen when I really thought about it. When I used to think that, I always felt it was because I wanted to be him but now it was because I just wanted him. I must have been staring at Zayn for far too long because Niall was also staring at me and I didn't even notice him there.

"Earth to Harry," he said, waving a hand in front of my face.

I quickly looked away and saw Niall's little cherub face giving me a perplexed look.

"I said...do you wanna go find something to eat before we head to the arena?"

I must have really spaced out because I truly had not heard Niall speaking to me at all. That was the affect Zayn had on me, and normally I would have said yes, but I wanted to stick around and keep looking at him.

"Uhhh, you know what. I think I'm just gonna relax here for a bit. I'll grab something there."

"I'll go with you Niall," Louis chimed in.

"I think I'll go with as well," Liam added. "We'll bring you and Zayn back some snacks."

Thank God. After the three of them left the suite I made my way into Zayn's room to find him lounging on the bed with his laptop on his lap.

"So how was the BRITS party?" he asked me suddenly.

I hadn't been expecting a random small talk question, but okay.

"Um, it was fine. Why do you ask?"

Zayn turned the laptop around and showed me a picture alongside an article. It was from one of those stupid celebrity gossip websites which displayed a picture of me walking out with a girl I had met at the after party and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What does it say? Am I dating her yet?"

"A source revealed that you have plans to go clubbing together in the future. It says you're both looking forward to your second date and she's absolutely smitten with you as well," Zayn replied, reading a bit of the article to me.

God, tabloids were so annoying.

"Rubbish. She's a friend of Grimmie's and we got on. There's nothing more to say about it. They can write whatever the fuck they want. It's all shit," I responded defensively, feeling myself grow a bit heated. Then Zayn gave me a confused look.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Harry. I don't care. I just thought it was funny was all..."

Wait, why had I just felt the need to defend my personal life to Zayn? When did I ever feel the need to explain myself to anyone before? Despite the fact that we had decided to become secret lovers, we were still friends. At the end of the day, Zayn was my best mate and he never once judged me or cared about who I talked to. I don't know why I was acting like we were in a relationship or why I was feeling so easily irritated in that moment.

Thinking back on it, I'm sure part of it was because there was a new article about me and some girl popping up every week and it didn't even matter what the details of the situation were. Everybody loved out of context photos because it allowed them to create their own click-bait narratives about me. If I looked at a girl, if we spoke, then we were dating. Point blank. I just hated that I had no control over how people perceived me.

Zayn motioned for me to come sit down next to him on the bed and he could tell that I was annoyed by the article.

"You need to relax."

I sat down next to Zayn and started to feel a little bit better beside him. I watched as he browsed through his twitter feed aimlessly and I wondered how was it so easy for Zayn to play it this cool when all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off?

"Anything good?"

I licked my lips and stared at him for a few seconds, waiting to see if he'd break his attention away from the computer screen to look at me, and he did.

Zayn stared back at me with those golden brown eyes of his and I felt myself naturally move closer to him without even thinking. He leaned in slowly and I felt the moment coming, but just as we were about to kiss, there was banging on the suite door and all you could hear was Niall laughing. It seemed like the boys had just left a second ago. How were they back already?

It was then I fully realized that finding any alone time with Zayn was going to be torture.