"Lies hurt.."
~~~~~
"mom was Pink Diamond...". Pink. Diamond. She and Rose were the same person?! Amethyst had screamed 'WHAAAT?!' while Garnet had a shocked expression and you immediately gasped,clasping your hands over your mouth in disbelief at what you heard. Pink Diamond,you're old owner..Rose Quartz,the gem who told you that you would be free by fighting by her side,against..herself?!So now here you were,you,Amethyst,and Garnet sat down as Pearl and Steven explained everything to you guys. "Let me get this straight. Rose Quartz,leader of the Crystal Gems,Steven's mom,was actually Pink Diamond?!" Amethyst loudly questioned in shock and amazement."She faked her own shattering,and reformed to be Rose all the time" explained Steven as Pearl continued, "Pink Diamond's final command to me was that no one could know. But now that Steven does,I can finally tell you all everything!" "Phew!I mean,a pink lion,a pink sword,and now Pink Diamond?!huh,if you told me Rose invented cotton candy,i'd believe it. Right,Garnet?uh..Garnet?" Amethyst asks.
Garnet,ignoring her question,is shaking in her seat. Slowly,she gets up and goes to make her way to the warp pad. "Rose..she..!ughh..ahh..!" The fusion struggles to stay together as a tear drips from her eye,and then..Ruby and Sapphire. Your eyes widen as you watch their argument unfold.
"Sapphire-" "She lied to us!she lied about everything!!" She shouts,the floor freezing in reaction to her rage, "she held our hands,looked at us right in the eyes,and told us to never question who we are as Garnet. We never questioned ourselves or her!!" "We couldn't have known!!" "No,you couldn't have known. You never know what's going on. That's why i'm here!" "Sapphire.." "but I never looked into her..I trusted her..I let her make fools of us all!" She yelled,running to the warp pad. "Sapphire,wait!!" Ruby chased after her. "Guys!" Steven runs after the two,slipping on the ice Sapphire created. "Please..we can just stay calm a-and talk about this,right?let's just..talk" "talk about what?how our relationship is based on a lie?what else is there to say..?" She finished,warping away as Ruby drops to her knees.
"Ruby..?I'm so sorry.." Pearl apologizes,feeling awful about what just happened. You..didn't know what to think of that. It was painful to see,and there was no denying that Sapphire had really hurt Ruby's feelings with all that she said about their relationship. She was obviously hurt too,and rightfully so. Knowing that the two people who played the biggest role in your life,one a sister who was trusted with ownership over you by your previous owner(and friend)were the same person..knowing that she had lied to you and played you like a fool..but,that wasn't important. All you could really think of was to walk over to Ruby and kneel to her height and attempt to comfort her. "Come on Pearl,help me explain everything to Sapphire!" "Right!". Steven ran over to Ruby and set a hand on her shoulder, "sit tight,Ruby. We'll go and get Sapphire" "okay.." Ruby quietly responded,tears pricking her eyes as she began to cry. You,hating to see her like this,wrapped your arms around her in a hug as she cried into your shoulder.
"Ruby,i-i'm sure she didn't...s-she couldn't have meant..pl..please don't cry..!" You hugged her tight. She pulled away and began to wipe her tears. "Ruby,a-are you feeling any better?" You ask,to which her lip trembles as she begins to sob again,hugging you and burying her face into your neck as she sobbed. "H-hey,i-it'll be okay..!Ruby.." you sighed worryingly as you hugged her back,starting to tear up yourself. No!this isn't about you!so what if Pink was your old owner and the leader of a rebellion against herself?!now is about the others,not you!pull it together!
"u-uhm,okay,how do I deal with the emotion 'sadness'..u-um.." "maybe she should write her feelings out. You know,like a diary" "a 'diary'?" "When you write how you feel after a day you had" "oh,that's a great idea,Amethyst!Ruby,d-do you want to write out all your feelings..?" You asked patiently. Ruby sniffled as she wiped hear tears,nodding. Amethyst went and grabbed paper and some of Steven's old crayons for her,and she began to write. You and Amethyst watched as she poured her feelings into each word,tears dropping onto the paper as she wrote out her heart with each word.
Her tears started to slow as she began to calm down. She takes a deep sigh and pauses for a moment,then grabs a new sheet of paper and a blue crayon. By now Amethyst went upstairs to play video games,so now it was just you observing the red gem.
'Sapphire-
you were
Right ..I
Need some
Time to think
So I am
Running
away'She goes to sign her name as Garnet,being used to being her so much that she thinks she is still her,but then realizes she's not Garnet anymore and scribbled it out,writing Ruby instead. "Ohh,that's not good.." you mumble nervously. "Uhh,Ruby..?a-are you sure that's what you want..?I-I mean,running away is really—huh..?w-where'd she go..?" you look around and don't see her anywhere and panic. "Uhh..A-Amethyst..?did you see where Ruby went?" "I thought she was with you" "yeah,I-I did too,but.." you sigh, "I..I-I need to go clear my head..maybe she'll be back..I just..need to process everything going on..".
(Later..)
You sat outside lying in the sand as you stared up at the sky. You couldn't help but tear up as you struggled to hold your tears back. How much more awful things could possibly happen?!first it was Lapis leaving,then Peridot getting corrupted,Pink lying to you,and now Ruby running away?!you groaned as you rolled on your side. It hurt. It hurt that she lied to you. It hurt that she lied to everyone. All of the grief and guilt you endured from her supposed "shattering",the emotional damage she caused you by that all..You even went so far as to rejuvenate yourself so you could forget the pain..You felt yourself begin to cry. "Was that all I was to you,Pink..just a mindless stupid toy of yours to lie to..?was it fun..?was it fun,playing us all like the toys we were..?was it fun emotionally damaging everyone the way you did.." you mumble. You sit up and grab a sharp rock off the beach and aim it towards your gem. You just want all the pain to be over with,you just want..to forget everything!!from Yellow giving you to Pink,to never seeing Spinel again and being used for Pink's rebellion,Pearl lying to you..
it's all just too much!!
You feel yourself begin to cry as you drop the rock,your lip trembling. You almost sob but you clasp a hand over your mouth. Stupid,stupid,stupid!!this isn't about you!!how selfish can you be?!the only ones who should be upset are Steven,Pearl,and Sapphire and Ruby!!they're the ones who matter,not you!!you're just the tanzanite who was only ever a little puppet used for entertainment. You shouldn't even be feeling this strange—no,stupid—feeling, 'sadness'!!you're supposed to be happy and support everyone and make them happy!you weren't even created to be a emotional mess,you were made to be a mindless little gem whose only purpose is to entertain..
(Later..)
It's been a while since you've been back at the beach house,and so far you've just been sitting on the couch,lost in confusion of yourself and your emotions. The others seem to be doing alright. From your understanding,Ruby had just proposed to Sapphire. They want to do something called 'marriage' which is created through a process known as a 'wedding'. It's nice to see those two are happy together again. Pearl tried to ask if you were okay,to which you forced together a fake smile and said you were alright. Steven gave you concerning glances every now and then,but you chose to ignore them.They have nothing to worry about,you're happy. Why wouldn't you be?everything is fine,and Ruby and Sapphire are happy. No one needs to worry about you,right?you're fine and 'happy'...right..?this..this is 'happiness',isn't it..?

YOU ARE READING
Lapis x fem!reader "To understand Emotions"
FanfictionStatus:finished Ah, Lapis Lazuli. A beautiful gem with a kind, fun heart. You never thought you'd understand the human emotion 'happiness' until you met Lapis. You never thought you'd understand any 'emotion', to be honest. Up until now, you just co...