Lapis x fem!reader "To understand Emotions"

Chapter 5

You hugged the taller girl as she hugged you back. She was such a nice gem. In her arms, you felt safe and content. It was as if time had stopped when you were in her embrace, as if nothing could hurt you when she held you. Then, she pulled away and smiled down at you. "I should get back to the barn. Talk to you later?" "Oh, y-yeah! Bye Lapis!" You waved with a smile as you both parted your ways.

~~~~
You walked through the door where Pearl and Garnet were having a conversation, not yet noticing you. "I just don't understand, Garnet.. How could she not remember us..? Will she ever remember us?"
"I'm sure she will. Just give her time."
You sighed and snuck past them, careful not to make too much noise. You didn't mean to hurt them, but you truly couldn't quite remember knowing them in the past. It hurt every part of you that their pain was because of you.
"Hey, Tanzanite. The couch is set up for you to sleep on." Steven pointed tiredly, noticing you as he made his way up to his bed.
"Uhh..sleep? What is that?" "You just lay down, get comfortable, close your eyes, and relax. You should try it. Night." he explained as he went up to bed. Sleeping, huh? Interesting..

Walking over to the couch, you did as told. Within minutes you felt your mind drift away as you relaxed, a dream forming in your mind. Huh.. This was odd. You had no idea gems could dream..

(Dream..)
You were with Yellow Diamond, Yellow Pearl, and the other Tanzanite. You and Yellow were laughing happily and wore flower crowns, the other Tanzanites and Yellow Pearls matching Yellow Diamond's crown. Her crown consisted of three flowers: Blue poppies, yellow begonias, calla lilies, and pink roses. Your crown was made up of roses, tulips, and sunflowers. Then, Yellow transformed into Pink Diamond, the other Tanzanite now Spinel, and Pink's Pearl. Your crowns now all consisted of various different types of pink flowers.

You looked at the 3 confused, wondering what happened to the gems you were just with. The 3 gems hugged you and you felt yourself begin to fall, the gems disappearing into dust. Then, you finally landed with a hard crash. You looked up to see a familiar set of Pink curly locks hanging down a young girl's back. The taller girl appeared to be engaged in battle with another gem. Before you could think, a gem charged towards you. You, not being able to summon any weapons despite your attempts, cowered in fear. Then..

..It's all gone. You pushed yourself up on your hands and knees. The pink curly haired lady was now in front of you, but she had no face. The Pearl is also there, but has no face. There are many other gems there with no face like a rainbow haired gem and a tall short haired gem wearing a visor. The pink haired girl transformed into Pink Diamond, still with no face. All the other gems except you, her, and Pearl disappeared and now there are were gems here: Yellow Diamond, Blue Diamond, White Pearl, Pink Pearl, Yellow Pearl, and Blue Pearl. The gems were all colored black and white as they grew into giant silhouettes, of which were pointing at you. Despite not having faces, they all seem.. Enraged. Upset, hurt..

You feel tears build up in your eyes and tried to say sorry, only for no sound to come out as you began to cough up up Pink roses.
(End of dream..)
You bounced up in a sweat and clasped a hand over your chest, trying your best to calm down. Your eyes quickly scanned the area. Oh thank the stars, it was just a dream. You're still here in the beach house. You run your hands through your hair, gripping it tightly as you curl your knees in and begin to cry, your body trembling. These must be the emotions 'sadness' and 'guilt'.

"Tanzanite?"

You look up and see Pearl knelt beside you. You begin crying harder and hug her tightly,burying your face into the crook of her neck. "Pearl.. I-i'm sorry.. I-i'm s-s-sorry.." you spoke, your voice trembling.
"Sorry? For what?" She asks, pulling away from the hug and placing a hand on your shoulder. "P-Pink's death.. I-I.." you don't even finish your sentence as you start crying again.
"So,you remember now..?" She questioned. You gave a slight nod, confirming this was true. "Tanzanite, it's okay.. You couldn't do anything about what happened. I know you think what happened was your fault, but.. It wasn't." She tried to comfort, "Although, this is odd.. What else could we be missing to getting you back to your true form..? This is all, right?"

Pearl was so, so wrong.