A song for you

Dark and cold

Zayn had stayed in his room the rest of the day. He hadn't even left to eat. He felt horrible.

He'd jumped to conclusions. It seemed like Louis had betrayed him but that wasn't true. He couldn't even make it up to him since they couldn't see each other unless they were on stage.

He didn't even know how he would though. Maybe Louis would understand.

He sighed and sat up. It was already dark outside and he could hear the rain.

The rain...he remembered back to seeing Louis smoking in the rain. He looked sad almost distant.

The only reason Zayn had even walked up to him was cause he didn't want to see Louis like that. Well that and he was worried about his health.

"I'm so sorry Lou." There was no one around but it felt good to say it.

Louis face...how he acted...he was really hurt. Ugh why did I say those things. I didn't even bother to ask him first. He probably hates me.

He risked his whole career for me. Changed basically who he was...he even tried to stop smoking which I know must have been hard.

All for me.

Why?

Why would anyone do that for me? I'm useless other than my voice. Anyone could replace me.

Maybe if I were gone...then no one would have got caught. I'm the reason harry and Liam got together I pushed them.

Louis...I am the reason Louis got locked away. Even got his sister threatened.

It was all my fault.

Zayn looked up. He hadn't done it in a long time. He didn't want to but he felt like he should be punished.

The knives were in reach. If he died so what they'd be happier right?

He stood up slowly. He honestly felt sick. He walked closer to them.

No one would miss me.

No one.

...Louis...

No he hates me.

He inched closer. No one. No one. No one.

Just as he was reaching for the knife there was a knock on the door.

He didn't even have a chance to answer it before Louis popped in much to Zayn surprise.

Louis slammed the door closed. It made Zayn jump.

"Lou? What are you doing?" "That's a good question. What are you doing?" Louis looked at Zayns hand that was resting right next to the knife stand.

"Nothing." "I don't believe that." "Why are you here Louis? Your gonna get in trouble."

"Probably but I can't stay in my room any longer. I'm gonna go crazy, and they...they took Kevin."

"What? That is unfortunate. Louis...I...I-" "Don't Zayn." "What?" Zayn looked at Louis and once again Louis looked hurt.

"I came to your room cause I wanted to talk. I get why you blamed me. It makes sense. Now though...I don't think we can be together."

Zayn looked at Louis that wasn't what he was expecting and honestly he had no idea what to say.

"Zayn I don't want to break up but...my sister and my mother. These people could do something to hurt them...I don't want to lose anyone."

"I-i" Zayn studdered. "Zayn I'm really sorry." Zayn looked at the ground. He wished it would open up and eat him so he could escape. That wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Zayn...Zayn are you okay?" "I don't know." "Here sit down okay. You look pale." "This is fucked up." Louis mouth opened wide he'd never heard Zayn curse before.

"Zayn I'm really sorry." "Not you. These people. They think they can just control us." "It's not right that's for sure."

"You know what?" Zayn opened the door wide "Zayn what are you doing!" "I'm going to talk to the manager. Right now. You go back to your room. Or where ever you want."

With that Zayn left to talk to management. Louis sat in Zayns room. Was what he did wrong? No it wasn't. Right?

Wait...Zayn. Louis looked at the knives. Zayn had hurt himself when they first became a band. Louis knew that although back then he never really cared.

If he died it was one less person to share the spotlight with. Now re thinking about it he realized that was horrible.

If something happened to Zayn now...he'd probably die too. They hadn't even been together long. He still couldn't think of a work without him.

Please Zayn be careful. I love you.