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Chapter 28

She stared with wide eyes as plans were amassed. The discussion was so heated she could not even intervene. Sasori shuffled grumpily, before grabbing her hips and sliding her onto his lap. She blushed hard, she buried her face into the crook of his neck.

"Am… I heavy?" She asked a bit shyly as she felt his arms wrap around her waist and squeeze her gently.

"No." His answer was curt as he pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling deeply. She blushed, taking note as she argument had died down slightly. She peeked out to see Hidan's crotch. She blinked, looking up to see purple glowering eyes.

A faint pink dusted his cheeks as he glared at the two. She smiled softly at him, holding out her arms. He grumbled and picked her up from Sasori's lap, holding her princess style as he walked back to his seat. She blushed as he sat down, still cradling her. Her feet were dangling on Kakuzu's lap, but he did not seem to mind as he pulled her feet down to rest on his thighs. Her hair dangled off the edge, where Zetsu decided to sit now, and he started to play with her loose locks. The discussion was no longer as heated, loosing the loudest person, aka, Hidan.

It was a good time to say something.

But what did she say? Soon as she thought of Sai, or Sasuke, her eyes would water, and her chest clench. It was like all her breath would leave her body, and her brain would either blank or go too fast.

But, she did not wish harm on them. Perhaps she never wanted to see them again, but that was different then what the war plans have been said.

Maybe… Maybe she could get away from them. And then, the Akatsuki would not need to be so harsh in their actions for her.

Homeschooling.

She was okay with interacting with just the Akatsuki. School didn't do much for her anyway. She went, learnt, and there always seemed to be something going on that was a distraction. The Konaha gang being a main source.

But, that did not solve the problem.

Maybe it was just an excuse for her to not face them again.

She clenched the bottom of her shirt looking around at the men.

She did not want to be the cause of a war, and there was no other excuse she would try get from her mind.

She took breath. She loved them. And they loved her. They would listen to her, right? Her fathers cold eyes flashed in her mind, making her quiver. She bit her lower lip, her eyes closing.

They were different. They treated her well and gave her so much affection. Hidan's warm body that encased hers reassured her. Kakuzu rubbed her calves absently, his fingers digging into her tense muscles. Then, the soft tugs of Zetsu playing with her hair. Just this interacting alone was more affection her father gave her in her entire life.

She let out the breath she was holding, opening her eyes. In her chest she could feel the dull fire trying to escape, the other her, but she fought it. She could handle this.

"I do not wish for you to attack Konaha." Her voice was soft, and quivered slightly when she said Konaha, but she did it.

It went quiet, the discussion of war still heavy. Hidan's arms tightened around her.

"Why?" It was Itachi who spoke, breaking the silence. She looked to him, his red eyes still swirling angerly. She went cold, her chest clenching in pain. She didn't want him to look at her like that… Angerly. It did not match the gentle and caring man she grew to know. Her father flashed in her vision, overlapping with Itachi's image. The eyes, cold, harsh.

Then again, this was a side of him. Of all of them. Tears welled in her eyes. Perhaps she wasn't ready to be here, to speak, to be with them. She knew of the other activities they did, despite how well they kept it from her. She did not know alot, but living with an organization of criminals, she had to run into something.

Often, it was the smell of death that would follow then after their absence. Or, the smell of blood that would linger in the house. Or, the torcher room in the basement, she watched them drag a person down one day. Tobi and crushed her to his chest to hide her eyes, but she still seen it all with her rather adept vision. The person, bloodied and unconscious, haunted her for days. She never seen him exit.

Tears welled in her eyes. She felt lost. Her chest kept swelling with air, yet she could not breath.

She became lightheaded, her finger tips cold and she clung to Hidan. She could feel all eyes on her.

"I…" The tears flowed down her cheeks. "I don't want…." The next words stuck in her throat. What did she want? "I just don't want it." She did not know how to explain her words, her brain was foggy and her chest threatening to burst with the fire she forced herself to swallow. What was this fire? Her own saliva. It scorched down her throat as she forced herself to swallow again, but her throat and mouth was dry.

She blinked, her fathers harsh punishments making her old wounds burn anew. His cold eyes as he would slash her over and over, a new weapon each time. Her blood on the floor.

She was a little girl again, crying and begging her father to stop.

"Keep going." His smooth voice, harsh and cold as he kicked her in her side. She gasped, the wound sending all sorts of pain through her.

She struggled to stand, her little hands clenching the oversized Katana. Her little hands, red with her blood, struggled to hold the sword properly. He brought down his Katana on her shoulder, the dull blade broke her skin from the force. She cried out an dropped down, curling into a ball.

"Pathetic."

He was right. She was pathetic.

She blinked, her hands were no longer small, but being held by anothers. There was no blood, but the pain was still there.

"Hinata.." She could hear someone saying her name, and it was not her father. The voice was smooth, warm and rich. She blinked, blood flashing in her vision. But it was gone in the next second.

"It looks like an attack… Maybe anxiety? It could also be PTSD. " Kakazu said, his voice faint, like it was far away. The hands, dark skinned and rough… She blinked again, eyes meeting green.

That's right.

She was here.

She was no longer there.

She took a shaky breath, continuing to stare into the warm green depths of Kakazu's eyes.

"Breath." She urged her, and she nodded, taking another shaky breath. Slowly, her surroundings became more clear.

But now… She was tired. So tired. She wrapped her arms around Kakazu's neck, and he picked her up, cradling her gently in his arms. She promptly fell asleep.

"We need to report to Pein…"