Mirrors |NH|

Chapter Forty Eight

"Hey, Benny," Edie said as he opened the door for her on Christmas Eve.

"Hey, little sis," he said, shutting the door behind them.

"How've you been?" She asked, as she set the cat carrier down and let Lilac out to investigate her new surroundings for the next couple of days.

"Good.  And you?"

"Tired."

"Miss your boyfriend yet?"

"My boyfriend?"

"Niall, silly."

"He isn't my boyfriend, Benny," she said, tossing her bag into his spare room.

"Could've fooled me," he said, bringing her a beer.

"Don't start."

"C'mon, Edie, I see the way he looks at you.  And I see the way you look at him.  Just fucking do it, already!"

"Benny!" Edie said, a little shocked at her brother.

"Well, I don't mean 'do it'. I don't need that image in my head. But, I mean, if nothing else, at least confess your damn feelings to yourself."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Edie, that I know what you gave him as a gift.  That thing means a lot to you and you gave it to him."

"He has better use of it."

"Yeah, cause he's going to play his guitar with that thing.  He's just going to do what you and dad did."

"Whatever."

"So...what did he give you?"

"A key."

"A key?"

"To his house."

"You officially moving in, now, eh?"

"No."

"Again, might as well.  It's going to get to that point eventually.  You know, once the two of you stop denying shit."

"How do you know he likes me?  Or that I like him?"

"Well, again, look at the gift you just gave him.  And, although his isn't the most expensive, it's symbolic as fuck.  Plus, you spend every damn day together.  Plus, at that little Christmas party thing we went to for your support group, every time I looked over at you or him, you were staring at each other!  It's so painfully obvious, it's sickening."

"I wasn't staring," Edie said, starting to feel self-conscious.

"Not as much as he was, but yeah, Edie, you were." Benny tapped her knee as he got back up to grab another beer.  When he came back in, he continued, "Oh, and another thing that proves it to me and the whole goddamn world---"

"Oh god, Benny, please drop this!"

He stared at her, "Okay.  Only if you tell him how you feel when he gets back.  If not, I'll tell him for you."

"Benny, he's a friend.  That's it."

"No, he's not.  But if you want to keep on thinking that, then by all means, continue to torture yourself.  Just know that you are allowed to be happy.  You are allowed to feel.  So stop running from it."  She watched as Benny got up and went to his room.  "See you in the morning, little sis."

When Edie laid down to sleep that night, she found that she couldn't.  She hadn't been able to sleep the past two days, ever since he had gone home. And now everything her brother had said to her kept replaying in her head along with certain images she had of Niall.  She then remembered the night his trial ended.  Everything he had said to her.  The way he had said it.  The way he kept pulling her closer to him even when she thought she couldn't get any closer.  The way she felt when his fingers had grazed her skin; the sensation it gave her.  She knew he was drunk that night, so she had let it slip by as drunken nonsense, but now, she wasn't so sure.

He never said anything about it, so she assumed he didn't remember saying any of it.  They appeared to just go about their days as they usually did.  But, Benny was right, why would she give away the one thing that meant the most to her.  She bolted upright when the next thought traveled across her brain,  'Because you aren't giving it away, you're just putting it in its rightful place.  Home.'

"Goddamnit, Benny!  Do you always have to be right?"