"You know that Alessia Cara song "Scars to Your Beautiful"?"
"Mmhmm."
"I used to think she was saying 'we're scars and we're beautiful' instead of 'we're stars and we're beautiful'. I kind of wish that was what she was saying, ya know. I mean, we'...
A week later, Edie was in her own apartment, getting ready for this New Year's party she had agreed to attend. Niall had returned two days ago but she hadn't seen him. She told him she was busy with Benny, which was partially true. Mostly, she was avoiding him. But she knew she couldn't keep avoiding him, for several reasons. One - she found that the only time she slept all week was when she used her brand new key to let herself into his house where she slept in the bed that had become hers. But one night, though, she found herself still tossing and turning, so she grabbed Lilac, who she didn't want to leave alone anymore, and climbed into his. She had buried her head in his pillow and a familiar smell finally put her at rest. Two - she'd stolen a shirt of his because it smelled like him and she knew it was one of his favorites and that she would have to return it. And three - she had been looking forward to this. She hadn't gone out for a night of fun in a year. She wasn't going to count the two months she spent at that club being stupid. She was looking forward to spending a night with her friend and ringing in a new year and leaving this one in the past. She even had gotten a new dress and shoes - they were the first new items of clothing she had bought in a year.
She had done her makeup; focusing on her eyes. "That's a lot of fucking glitter, Edie," she said to herself as she surveyed her face to make sure she had hidden all her scars well enough. Once she was satisfied, she sealed it all in place with setting spray and went to get dressed.
She had been told this thing had a dress code - black and white, with pops of champagne were allowed - so she had managed to find a dress that met the requirements. Once she had it on, she stood in front of her full length mirror and cringed. She hated it.
"Well, fuck."
She stripped down to nothing again and searched through her closest until she came across a dress she had only worn once. It was a short-sleeved champagne sequin shift dress – perfect for New Year's. She got it on and rechecked herself. It was a little on the short side but overall, she liked how she looked. But then she questioned herself again. Was it too short? Too sexy? Too shimmery? Too much glitter? She couldn't believe she cared so much about her appearance.
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"Fucking, Benny," she mumbled as she heard a knock at her door. She tiptoed to the door, why, she couldn't have answered that, and peered through the peephole. She saw Niall dressed head to toe in all black; his hair freshly cut and styled, and just the right amount of scruff on his face. "Fuck me," she said.
"Edie?" Niall said, looking at the still unopened door.
'Shit, did I say that out loud?' she thought. She took a deep breath and unlocked the door and ran back into her room, slamming the door. She texted him that he could come on in.
She listened as he opened and closed her door.
'You're seriously hiding in here? You're going to have to go out there, Edie' she kept thinking to herself as she searched for her shoes.
At least the shoes she had bought looked good on her and matched the dress. She took one last look at herself, took a deep breath, and cursed her brother as she opened the door.
Niall had sat down on her couch and was petting Lilac, but he quickly stood up when she came out. The look on his face told her what he clearly thought of how she looked. Somehow, that gave her a little bit of confidence that she could somehow manage to get through this night. It also made her blush.
'Thank god for bad lighting,' she thought to herself.
"You look beautiful, Edie," Niall said to her, walking towards her.
"You don't look so bad, yourself," she said, trying to sound playful even though she felt she could hardly talk.
"I don't know if I can give you a hug. I don't want to mess anything up," Niall said.
"Of course, you can give me a hug."
Niall closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her, "I've missed you."
"Same," she said as she inhaled, the scent of his cologne making her comfortable; making her safe.
"Shall we?" He asked, holding out his arm for her.
"We shall."
She grabbed her coat, locked up behind her, and managed to get down the steps without looking back at him. He ran ahead of her and opened her car door for her, "M'lady," he said, playfully, helping her into his car.
On the way to the party, they had a little bit of small talk but mostly they drove in silence. Edie didn't know what to say to him, she was too nervous. She kept glancing sideways to get a look at his profile. He looked very focused and deep in his own world. 'Ugh, stop doing this to yourself!' She needed to relax or else he was going to suspect something was wrong with her. What she needed was a drink.
