Night Shift

Chapter 23

The walk is much steeper than I thought it was going to be. It might not be the hill; it's most definitely me. A lot of years doing nothing but mopping, restocking and standing behind the counter. After today I should add more to my daily routine. What do I like to do? I haven't read a book in years, I'm not caught up on any of the latest shows or movies. I might go to the cinemas this week, grab some snacks and enjoy my surroundings. The thought of it sends a tingle at the pit of my stomach.

My legs start to strain a little, I can feel my calf muscles tightening with each step. I don't think I've walked up a ramp in the past few years, let alone an actual hill. I don't want to show Laura just how awful this is making me feel. My array of emotions that I have felt tonight have caught up with me, weighing me down.

"We're almost there," Laura declares. Is she just commentating, or can she see that I'm struggling?

Further up the hill we went. We go around a corner. I can see the apex a few metres above us.

"Let's run it," Laura suggests.

I laugh, it's weak and breathy, it takes a lot out of me. "Absolutely not," I say.

Laura doesn't argue. She keeps hold of my hand and we do the slow trek up to the peak of the hill.

The view is immense. I can see the entire town, the tops of the houses, the yards, the streets. What is most beautiful of all is the view of the mines. The sheer size of it in theory is enough to knock you flat, but actually seeing it is a completely different story.

For the first time in many years, I can see life in the city. I see cars in motion. Not too many, it's still really early in the morning, but it is due to throng within a few hours.

The air isn't still anymore; I can feel the breeze rushing through my hair, acting like an icepack to my hot and bothered face. It feels refreshing, a new me to start the new day.

"It's stunning, isn't it?" Laura says. I almost forgot that she is still here.

"It is," I say.

We both sit down together, our hands departing and resting in our laps. I see a sliver of sunlight trying to climb its away above the horizon.

I'm still trying to remember how long it's been since I've been up here. It was only one time, I believe it was roughly the same time of day as it is now.

I vaguely remember sitting here, my mind running with different thoughts and concepts. I remember thinking about the city, and how badly I wanted to get out of here. I thought about where I wanted to go: definitely somewhere far away from here. Somewhere that could help me forget all about this place, start a new identity. I was also reminiscing on what happened earlier that day. It wasn't a good day, in fact it was a really bad day, I think. After thinking about the city, and recapping on the day, I remember asking myself –

"If you were to die right now, would your last words to the people you spoke to be something they'd be happy with?"

It's Laura that says this. For some reason it doesn't surprise me. She took the words right out of my head, as if she has access to it. I remember thinking what she said out loud to myself the last time I sat on this very spot.

I shake my head at Laura's answer. "I'm not too sure how they'd feel."

"Who was your very last word to?" she asks.

"If I'm not counting the customers I served, it would have to be my mother," I say. "We got into an argument over the phone."

She looks at me as if she knew my answer already, she just needed to hear me say it out loud.

"Did you ever have a good relationship with her?" she questions.

"Not entirely," I say. "My dad died when I was very young, and it made her take a turn for the worst in terms of her mental state. It's like she had no idea what to do with me. We were very distant from each other."

"Did you argue a lot?"

I shake my head. "We had little go's at each other here and there. Our last phone call was really bad."

Laura moves closer toward me, and wraps her arms around me. It's the tightest she's ever held me, I feel like it's going to be the last time she will ever do this. It's warm, satisfying. I feel a flutter within my chest. I wrap my arms around her, close my eyes and nestle my head into the cranny between her neck and shoulder.

"You asked me earlier: when was the last time I was up here," I begin, my eyes still closed.

"Yes, I did," Laura responds. She sounds far away, her grip on me is loosening.

"I remember," I say.

She doesn't say anything.

I don't know how I know, but with everything that's happened tonight, I feel that it makes the most sense. Everything was leading up to this moment.

"It was this day, exactly five years ago."

Laura still doesn't say anything. The warmth disappears, the flutter in my chest subsides.

I open my eyes. My arms are outstretched as if I am holding someone, but there is no one for me to hold.

It's just me.