Complicated

Chapter 8

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(A/N I know the POVs have been confusing, and I'm super sorry! There's a picture of Connor's father above, I really hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy! -Leo)

~Dedicated to everyone named Jenna~

[Connor's POV]

 I've been thinking.

 I always start with, 'They tell me I'm [Blank].' But, why should I care what they tell me? Who even is they? I don't know who they are, but I know who I am. Hell, I know what I am! My name is Connor Jones, and I'm a flaming homosexual!

 "About the things I've said and done to you."

 I snapped back into reality at the sound of Aarav's voice. "W-What?" I stuttered, not paying attention previously. He bit his bottom lip before sighing. "Nevermind. I'll see you in, what..." He thought. "Band, right? I think that's our first class together." I nodded. "You play the clarinet, right?" He nodded. "Yeah. You play, I think, percussion?" I nodded just as he had before, the simple gesture now being passed from one to the other. "Yeah, I play the tiny metal things that were used for a bell effect in our Winter Concert," I told him.

 And, for the first time, I saw him smile, and I was the cause. I never thought me, out of all people, could make Aarav Patel, possibly one of the most homophobic, judgemental people I know, smile.  And I smiled back.

 I could still describe his smile perfectly. It was a bit lopsided and exposed a dimple on the left side of his face.

 I watched him walk away, bag slung messily over his shoulder as if he had nothing to lose. But he did. And, so did I.

 I felt a sense of hopelessness. I thought that, if I let him walk away, that tomorrow would be just the same as any other day. I wouldn't be a person, just another trash bin, barely worthy of being used.

 I wondered if he would still push Ross to bully me, or if things could change. Speaking of Ross, he hasn't spoken to me lately. I wonder, has he finally given up? The hopelessness I felt when Aarav walked away, did he feel that when I did just the same?

 Or maybe he needs some time for himself. Some time to think. About me. About my actions. About his actions. About what he's going to do if anything at all. Maybe he's overthinking things.

Or maybe, I'm the one overthinking things.

[Aarav's POV]

 I walked along the sidewalks of a street with a name I couldn't care to remember. My nose was red from the cold, and as were my cheeks and the tips of my fingers. The freezing winter wind blew through my hair as I stood, now still as I stared up at the dark night sky.

 Navy blue and black painting the soft blanket above, spots of white and light yellow dotting the surface. I wonder if this was the feeling I wanted. I wanted to feel warm. To feel comforted. To sit in silence, that instead of being angry or awkward, it was relaxing. A feeling of being alone, but one that you needed. And, even if I weren't alone.

I would look into his eyes.

He would stare back.

The dim moonlight would shine down on us, framing his soft features.

And, we would both know, we weren't alone.

I looked down at my cell phone. 12pm. I was supposed to be home by now, though I wasn't supposed to be out to begin with. I bolted down the streets to my small, and well, chaotic, home. I ran to the side of the house and found my window, prying it open. I silently climbed back inside and gave a sigh of relief as I closed it again.

I looked down and jumped when I saw my little sister, Amara, sleeping on my bed. I wonder, was she waiting for me? I took the dark blue blanket that was messily sprawled across the floor and carefully laid it over her. I smiled softly to myself.

I silently wandered into the hallway just outside my room, opening a small closet, and grabbing a blanket and pillow. I peeked out into the living room, and thankfully saw nobody there. I laid down on the couch, pulled the blanket over myself, and tried my best to sleep. It took me quite a while, but I did, eventually.

I heard Connor's voice, small and pitiful, yelling out for me. He stared at me with wide eyes and tears streamed down his cheeks. He screamed. He cried. I put my hands against the glass door and pulled the handle. His back was whipped by a large, black figure. I watched. I was completely helpless. He called out my name. Aarav, save me. Aarav, don't leave. Aarav, please. Please, please!

Over and over, his voice echoed in my mind. Let me in! Let me save him! Please, let me save him...

"Aarav, Aarav, c'mon, get up...!" I heard a small voice whisper. "Sh, Amara, I have a better idea." I heard small, fast footsteps, just before a high pitched sound rang in my ear, more like a screech than anything.

I quickly sat up and opened my eyes. I saw two of my little siblings, Amara and Arya. Arya was holding a thin but tall airhorn. "Hey, you!" I stood and held my hands out like claws. "You're going to pay for that!" They both giggled and began running around our home. I caught Amara first and began tickling her. She giggled, gasping for air. "It was Arya! Arya did it!" I began to chuckle and kept tickling her. "He did??" I asked, being dramatic. "Yes, yes!" She replied and I walked slowly in the hallway. "Hmmm, where could he be...?" I opened the closet, and we screamed at each other before beginning to laugh.

I loved my siblings. They could be annoying, of course, but they were small and wholesome. What more would I need? Well, a lot, but hey, we don't talk about that.