love heptagon

little things - jihope

tw!! mentions of mental illnesses! don't read if you're easily triggered by mental illness and its affects, stay safe plz!

Before him the days were bleak, Jimin would get up every day at 10 am and stumble into the eating area. A blanket wrapped tight around him as he nibbled on his eggs and toast as slowly as they'd allow, the other patients conversing and glancing around at each other every so often. The kitchen staff would collect their dishes and the various people would all file out, going off to enjoy their first activity of the day.

Jimin would go through his classes quietly, drawing in the back of the room, only speaking during group therapy every now and then and generally just keeping to himself. To put it simply he was alone in this mental hospital, psychiatric ward, treatment institution whatever you want to call it. He doesn't like people, likes talking to them even less, his hands shake and his lungs clam up whenever he's called on to speak in group. I can't do it. He thinks as everyone gives him an odd look because oh god I'm stuttering and dammit the words aren't coming out. Until they say they'll come back to him and all he can do is nod.

He's always been quiet, and the doctors all agreed that this could help him progress in social situations a little bit more. Jimin protested the best he could, crying and trembling and begging for his mom not to send him away. She did it anyway, insisting that maybe if he gets over this "anxiety nonsense" that maybe he can pull his act together and get back into dancing. Maybe win something for once. Maybe make his family proud.

These worries consumed his every waking hour, plagued his mind to the point where he'd forget to eat, drink, sleep all of it. He'd passed out in PE maybe four days in a row before they decided he really needed help. Jimin had needed it before, but he guesses it just took him making their lives difficult enough for them to notice. 'Them' being his mom and older brother, who spent all their time looking out for him. They made him feel like such a burden that he'd never ask for help, never even ask the time of day. It was bad.

So now he's sat on the edge of his creaky bed, scratching at his knees and waiting for lunch. Jimin did a lot of waiting, spending his free time locked up in his room either sleeping or losing breath over little things. His thought process is interrupted by a nurse calling him in for lunchtime.

The days all go like that. Every single one of them over and over, it's terribly monotonous. And then one night there's a siren outside, and the loud commotion of conversation and another much louder knock on his door. Jimin opens it and the staff member in front of him looks awfully panicked, she tries to keep her voice calm as she explains that he'll be getting a new roommate as of right now. He doesn't really know how to react so he just nods, stepping aside for three other people to roll in the stretcher, upon which a delicate looking boy is laid.

He's got dark bags under his eyes and bruises on his legs. Jimin wonders what happened to him. He can't go back to sleep that night, the rest of his late hours are spent watching his new roomie sleep in what looks like could be a coma state. He barely moves when he breathes, Jimin almost thinks he's dead. Except for the fact that his fingers tap out a rhythm on the sheets periodically, letting the tired boy know his heart is still beating.

For the next couple days everything is nearly the same as it had been before, but now Jimin has to spend his free time in the lounge instead. That and the fact that he can feel the other's eyes on him often, mostly during the art class they share. It takes him awhile but he finds out his roommates name is Hoseok. A pretty name for a pretty boy. He thinks when he first hears it spoken from the mouth of another patient he doesn't recognize.

About a week or so into sharing a room with Hoseok, they have their first conversation. It's just before lights out, the taller boy leans over and asks for Jimin's name. He's surprised by the sudden question and it takes him a minute to answer, wringing his hands as he does so.