The Silence I Needed (Mori x Reader)

Kiss and Told

The host club rested easier after Haruhi and I explained what happened on our lunch date. I did too. No more pictures, only the real thing. Just not at school. Or at the dojo.

It was the next week, after the whole lunch date escapade that things started going downhill. I'd stopped host hopping, and settled with Haruhi, thinking I'd distract Mori from "work" if I was a guest of his. I loved hanging out with Haruhi. They were my best friend at Ouran. Talking with them was also a lot easier now that the whole maiden-Lobelia-Benio thing had resolved itself. The other guests were wary of how close I was with Haruhi, even asking at one point if we were dating. We both blushed and dispersed the thought without hesitation. Haruhi is beautiful and kind. They're hard working and they're very determined. But I still don't think I'd ever choose them over Mori if we'd done this whole thing over again. Plus, I know a certain prince that has their eye.

I realized something a few days after I stopped host hopping. I couldn't stand to see Mori with his guests. I had to sit with my back turned to his table. I got twitchy watching the other girls coo over him, gripping my skirt so hard I almost tore it. I'm not jealous. That's what I kept telling myself. Mori actually likes me. We hang out together outside of school and club. He opens up to me and holds my hand and kisses me like you could never imagine a guy that stoic would. I'm different from those other girls. I'm not a heart-eyed pushover. I'm special, and unlike his guests, I'm genuinely in love with- Oh shit.

I stood abruptly from my chair, tears forming in my eyes with an emotion I couldn't describe. I felt happy and scared and upset all at the same time. My exit was quiet, or at least it was until Hunny called after me. "(Y/N)-chan, are you okay? Did something happen?" Of course I froze. All the hosts had turned their attention to me, which meant all the guests had too. I only dared to look at Hunny and respond before resuming my escape.

"I'm fine, thank you Hunny. My, uh, my makeup is smudged. It's kind of embarrassing. I'm on my way out to fix it, is all." I bowed a little towards him. "Sorry for the scare." Then I was gone.

I went to the dojo early. Practicing kendo usually cleared my mind, but I couldn't escape like I usually did. When the evening matches began, I saw Mori once or twice, and tried to avoid meeting his eyes. I was glad my mask obscured most of my face, and that the blood rushing to my cheeks could seem like adrenaline. I was too in my own head, and the matches were over, before I knew it. I didn't even know if I'd won the ones I was part of or not. It was only thinking in questions. I wasn't quite sure of anything at that moment. Did I really tell myself that? Am I admitting that? Am I ready to admit that? The answer was no. I was not ready. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mori placed a hand on my shoulder after practice, asking if I wanted him to walk me home.

We did this every night after kendo practice now. It was the only time we got to be alone. We'd been doing this for a week now, and now I was nervous about walking home with him? What is going on here? Maybe I am no better than one of his guests. I bet I look like a fool right now. We ended up walking together again tonight, despite my nerves. I wanted this to end so I could go home and hide in my bed, but I didn't want to leave his side either. "Mori, do you mind if we detour through the park today? It's - well it might be a longer walk, but the sky looks so pretty tonight, don't you think?" Yeah, he said, but he wasn't looking at the stars.

The park was empty. One of the street lamps over the pathway was flickering, messing with my focus. I almost felt like I was being dragged, or like my body wasn't my own. I was aware of Mori's hand on mine, and it was hard to make sense of much else. He sat us down in a gazebo in a more flowery part of the park. I was afraid to look at him. If he asked me a question, even as basic as how are you, it's possible I could have melted into my seat.