the new year

thirty

T H I R T Y :

Oak's legs were going faster than she thought was possible as the treadmill was rolling on the third-highest it could reach, she had no idea why she was pushing herself to that speed but she wanted to lose weight, she was sick of looking the way she did, she was sick of her father, especially, and other people looking at her like she wasn't human. She once found herself liking how she looked, well, she didn't mind it but now she found herself feeling disgusted every time she walked past someone's window and she caught the glimpse of her reflection. Grotesque. Fubsy. Disappointment.

The blue-haired girl had been coming to the gym, in secret for a few months, she hadn't told anyone because she felt ashamed. Everyone she knew was incredibly beautiful, they had perfect bodies and they weren't eyesores whereas she was, even one half of her appearance hated her and made sure she knew how much he hated her.

In her earphones a song by a band called The Helmet Maker was being played, it was high tempo, guitar solos on point and the vocals of Luke Warrington were as usual, phenomenal. Her trainers, that she hardly ever wore, were probably going to get worn out by the end of the month. She'd been pushing herself a lot more recently than she had before because she despised herself way too strongly for it to be dismissed.

She wasn't even confident enough to wear a sports bra like most of the other women in here, she wore a black and blue vest top and some black leggings that were made for the gym.

Her main aim was to lose as much belly, leg and arm fat as possible until she was happy, she knew it was wrong but she'd also been trying to eat much less hence the 'I'm not that hungry' facade she was putting up even though she was. Why did she feel the way she felt? Her dad.

David's negativity had really impacted everything she did, it made her feel unmotivated and like she was worthless when she wasn't.

Oak had now moved onto steps, which would build her leg muscles and hopefully allow her to lose some of the thigh fat she thought she had. All of her friends saw her as one of the most beauteous people they had ever met, she had a natural amazing bone structure and had natural curves that most would die for—she wasn't like an hourglass but she had all the right junk in all the right places, she just didn't see it.

"I don't like you anymore," Callum, Oak's boyfriend at the time told her "To be honest I never really have," He shrugged nonchalantly like the girl didn't have feelings. The reason he went along with liking her for so long was that he found her body desirable and he remembers hearing on of his friends Brad talk about how much he wanted to 'bed her' just cause she had a peachy bum.

Callum decided that was his cue to get to Oak and it worked, Oak had never had someone interested in her so it was foreign to her hence why she fell head over heels for him even though she wishes she didn't. She didn't love him, she just liked him because he supposedly liked her and that was new for her.

"But why?" Was the girls' response, she was trying to hold back her emotion because he didn't deserve it, he didn't treat her that well.

"You're too fat and tall and you're just not very appealing to look at," He shrugged again, to say that didn't hurt her would be a lie. She gave him more than he deserved, she gave him her body because that's what he wanted, it took time but he got it and that was all he cared about.

He enjoyed having sex with her, her arse was one thing but her boobs were another that he liked toying with, she was an object to him and that's all she was. They were together for six months officially and even Callum's friends thought he was actually in love with her when he told them that it was just for sex.