the new year

fifty-five

F I F T Y - F I V E :
ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ

"You want to play family monopoly?" Seb repeated his brothers suggestion with wide eyes. Usually, Tom was the last person to suggest playing a board game with the family purely because he hated the lengthy process of it all and to be honest how boring it was.

"Yes," Tom clarified for his brother who looked as if he'd been replaced by a hologram or something.

"Why? You never want to," Seb said his eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion, he couldn't fathom how Tom had gone from fuck that I played it once and that's enough to suggesting to actually play the game, pigs must be flying.

"I know," Tom agreed with a sigh and then awkwardly scratched his neck "But since I tried to kill myself, I know that I put you guys through a mass amount of pain, I want to repay you and spend some quality time with you all because I don't appreciate you enough. So, if that means playing fucking shit board games then so be it," Tom told them with a heartfelt tone, the words leaving his mouth giving the three others in the room a sting in the heart at those two awful words that should never be paired together. 

"I'll call your dad then, he's wanted to see you for a while now, he'll love spending time with all three of you," Louise suggested fondly at her three children who all nodded. Oak sat on the sofa refraining from rolling her eyes, he'd be excited to see Tom and Seb not her--it was like him having a daughter was the epitome of his suffering like having a daughter wasn't good enough, sorry Henry VIII.

As Louise left the room Seb followed closely behind her, leaving Tom and Oak sat there. Tom let out a soft sigh before he turned to face his sister who was resting her head against the back of the sofa, glaring up at the ceiling "Did you see the note?" He asked, keeping his voice hushed, he wasn't entirely sure who'd seen it, if anyone had. All he knew was that when he came back and went into his room his bedding had been changed and the envelope was no longer there, so either someone had seen it or they hadn't noticed it and it'd fallen behind his bed.

Slowly, Oak lifted her head forward brushing her hair out of her face before looking back to her brother "Yeah. . ." She answered just as quietly "But I didn't show mum or Seb, I thought you'd rather them not see it," She added, the written words her brother had jotted down flashing in her mind, if she'd have known how much pain he was in, things could've been so different.

"Thank you," He said gratefully. It was bad enough that his baby sister had seen it and read what he'd wrote but it would've been worse if all of them had, there'd be this massive fuss going at him. "And I'm sorry that you had to find me," He apologised feeling guilty for the pain he'd had to put her in.

"I heard what you said-when you found me I mean-I heard you tell me you were gonna help me and I felt you hold my hand and-and I wanted to thank you for calling the ambulance and not giving up on me. I'm sorry that I wanted to leave, I just I feel so fucking stupid sometimes and it's like I can't control what I do, I thought it was my only way to freedom. . ." He thanked her properly before she could say anything because he knew how traumatic it must have been for her and he's actually grateful to be alive because even though he wanted to die, it wasn't his time, it was thanks to Oak, she'd saved him in one way or another.

"You're feelings aren't stupid T, no matter what you're feeling. You feel things for a reason because you're human and because you care about something, don't ever think that, okay? And what I said still stands, I will help you as much as you'll let me," Oak said, trying her best to drill it into his head, he'd never been one to properly show his emotions or know how to go about them. Purely, because of some little boys in Secondary school picking on him because he stood up for girl who was getting bullied and because he didn't want to fight them--they told him he needed to be a real man and face things with his fists.