Heartbreak Surrogate

🌸Chapter 5🌸

I haven't left my room in a week turns out I signed myself up to a manipulative, controlling and possessive man. I've been trying to find a solution to this whole mess I don't know how but I'm gonna get out of this, I just pray he doesn't kill me.

Knock! Knock! " I'm sorry Linda" what did I just here him say sorry, no being cooped  up in this room is obviously driving me crazy
"I know I've been acting crazy since you got here and I haven't been concerned about your feelings, for that I apologize and for making you feel worthless. Please come out....I promise to change. You have no Idea how much I need you how much I need this baby" I paused for a long time trying to process what he just said, he sounds so heartbroken maybe he's really sorry but why? it doesn't sound like him to be talking like this

"I'm begging you Linda please come out, I'll make it all alright"
I went and opened the door, has he been crying?. He looked at me with red swollen eyes....wow this vulnerable side of him really breaks me, I know I should be angry at him but I can't bring myself to hate or be angry towards him. I don't know where I got the courage but I pulled him to me and hugged him, to say I was shocked when he hugged back is an understatement.

"What happened to you?" I asked looking at him Instead of answering he looked away from my eyes as if scared of looking at me
"I know you haven't known me for that long and we barely even talk but I'm a good listener and I don't judge" I sad hoping for a reply
"I'm incapable of being loved and I'm incapable of falling in love" he said
"What" I sad taken back by what he said
"I can see it in your eyes Linda, you can't fall for me, please don't"
Looking away from him since he was now looking straight at me "I'm not falling in love with you Lan"
" yet you get affected by every little thing I do, you obey me"
"What, that's ridiculous"
"Look at me" he said, with my breath still held I continued to look anywhere but him
"See you can't even look at me, you stop breathing when ever I come closer to you, you do whatever I say and you won't admit it but your heart breaks when ever I don't speak to you" I kept quiet
"Look at me and tell me I'm wrong" he was right I was falling for him but I'm not gonna give him that satisfaction what if he's saying all this to butter me up into sleeping with him,

"Why?"
"Why what?" He said looking at me
"Why do you want a baby so much I mean you can have any women in the world, why did you go this route?"
"I'm damaged Linda, no one can ever love me enough to make me happy and conform to everything that makes me happy"
"But I can..."I said lowly and quickly covered it with "tell me please I swear whatever it is it won't live this room"

"My wife I loved her with every fiber in my being and this one time on our way back from a night out we got into an accident, the following day I woke up at the hospital asking for her and her parents told me that she had died on the scene. Never in my life have I ever thought I'd experience something so painful and traumatic, I didn't sleep for days all I could see was her Face, her smile and the life we promised to each other, it was all for nothing.

I feel so horrible for judging him for assuming that he was a cold hearted man I mean who wouldn't be cold hearted after going through so much pain and heartbreak.

"But that's not the worst part the day before the accident I had found out that she was pregnant, I was over the moon I looked at her with  pure joy and pure admiration, not believing that she was about to give me a child a mini me" he smiled a little " days, months and years even passed by I learned to live with the pain. Last year I found out that she is alive and married to another man, she came out alright from the accident and decided to move to Mexico and the child she was pregnant with was never mine. The whole time she was cheating on me.
She made her parents lie to me about her death.

I saw that shutting everybody out was the only way to protect my heart, I couldn't count on relationships anymore so I focused on the one thing I could control and that was my career"

"For years I have been so accustomed to controlling and possessing everything around me that when you walked into my life I didn't know how to treat you, yet you where here to help me and for that I apologize Linda I swear I'm gonna change my ways"
he finished and my eyes where watery I mean how can she be so cruel to put him through all that, I hate her for doing this to him
Looking at me he held  my hand "I want this baby because I need a purpose, I need something to live for. I need something to make me feel that all my hard work was and is worth it"

"Lan I don't know what to say, I'm sorry that you went through all this but this is hard for me. How  do I know you mean what you saying, how do I trust that you won't be mean and cold towards me anymore"
"I know it's gonna be hard for me to change as well but I'm willing to try this again that's if you still want to be my surrogate"
"Please give me time to process everything" I said
"That's okay you can take as much time as you need, I'm not gonna rush you."