Me

Bo Burnham Songs I like

"Hell Of A Ride"
We've had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven, well
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
Hey man
Sup bro
You hear about Bo, dude
Yeah, the kid sucks
Yeah, he sucks man
Kids trying to rap he was in theater in high school
Whoa, whoa, whoa, yo is that him
Huh what
Yo is that him
Holy shi...
Oh fuck this motherfucker scares me, I can't do this shit
Shut up
I can't fucking do this shit
Dude, just shut up!
Photosynthetical, I want 'em botanical
And I'm kind of theoretical (What)
Quantum mechanical (What)
Alphabetical, a word puritanical
Not a hypothetical
I rule tyrannical
Tyrannical-saurus-rex
Fuck the system
Solar plexus
A lone star Texas, yeah
Too smart to be sexist, hey
Slow it down; the shit's too quick
Fuck it. Stick with it
The kid is too sick to quit
Haters, suck my dick
Handle the candle, lick the wick
No, stop. You're better than that
C'mon, "mail" definition, there's a letter in that
Spell "male" then repeat the second letter in that
A.A. If you got a girl, don't let her in that
I said I've got a green light, Jay Gatsby
You know leaking's just for maxi
So leak my tracks, they're tax-free
And that's the way it should be if you ask me
Take this music
Choose it, use it, fuse it
Abuse it, lose it
If some of you like it, sweet
But if it's just me, then B, let's ride the beat
Fuck it, get a bucket
My stomach is gonna upchuck
Texas ranger, no walker, get up, Chuck
Pixar's dicks are slick 'cause they fucked up
What a fucked up stuck up suck up
Say this shit is crap, scoff
Write me off as some white kid tryin' to rap
Because I'm willing to quit
Just kidding, the kid'll keep killing this shit oh
We've had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven, well
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
We've had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven (heaven)
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
Lyrical acrobat
Listen, empirical mathematician, the miracle aftermath
Is it part due to the fact the rap's elastic addict act is missin'
Too smart to be dismissed, hey
Miss Heart meet Mr. Fist
Kids can't cut it so they try a wrist, shit
You got nothin' on me, I'm a nihilist
Come on, Bo, flow
Blow like the wind go
Flow like the wind blow
Blowin' out the window
Amnesty, amnesia, I remember a window in Indonesia
Pleased to meet ya
I don't believe in Jesus
Jesus please don't sneeze your Cheez-Its
Please it's just what I believe
It's not Jesus. It's Cheez-Its, right?
Not like the Jeremiah Wright guy
Rhyme too tight, and it's makin' you fight
My skin Lite Brite
Like at night what you write by
Lord of the Rings, man, I'm the Tolkien white guy
Too dense, gotta rewind it
Hate my brain, but too sane to mind it
The meaning's there, but as a rule of thumb
Just hum if you're too dumb to find it
We've had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven, well
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
We've had a hell of a ride
But you thought we were riding to heaven (heaven)
I motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
We had a hell of a ride
But I thought we were riding to heaven, heaven
You motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
We had a hell of a ride
But I thought we were riding to heaven, heaven
You motherfucking lied
So crank that funky shit to eleven
You think I'm joking? (we had a hell of a ride)
Well then you don't know me (but I thought)
You don't, you don't, you don't know me at all (thought we were riding to heaven)

You think I'm joking? (well you lied)
Well then you don't know me (I'm a lie, I'm a lie)
You don't, you don't, you don't know me at all (I'm a lie, I'm a lie)

----------
"What's Funny"
(My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish Uh, she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time)
My show is a little bit silly, and a
Little bit pretentious, so like
Shakespeare's willy or
Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on
It's also a little bit gay, and a
Little bit offensive, like
Thanksgiving Day or
Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on
So put your cellphones to vibrate
And put your vibrators to cellphone mode
Welcome to the show, it goes a little bit like this
Joke... exactly
Welcome to my flow, it flows a little bit like this
With a rap and a diss then a
Swift rap in the wrist, a rap in a kiss
Like Hershey's wrappin' a Kiss, shit
I got a show that'll test you kids
And it asks one question and the question is
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny
Oh yeah
Humor is often linked to shared experience
Like a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient hand dryers? "
"Oh my God, yes I have
Ha ha ha ha, really good point
They should fix that
It's good to know that somebody finally gets me
'Cause my wife divorced me
Which has consciously forced me to lose all sense of self
So it's nice to think about hand dryers
And not that cheating whore"
Because stand-up comedy is actually pretty easy
If you're an Asian comic, just get up and say, "My mother's got the weirdest fucking accent"
Then just do a Chinese accent
'Cause everybody laughs at the Chinese accent
Because they privately thought that your people were laughable and now you've given them the chance to express that in public
Ah yeah, if you're a musical comic
Just give them a little weird voice inflection
Then take a Viagra
And slap them with a rock-hard misdirection
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
... Tourettes!
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny
Oh, and the audience says
When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys
Now I'm older and bolder and just get mad because I notice that the keys are to a Hummer
Fuck my life, I don't fuck my wife
So fuck my wife, and fuck my life
And my son is gay, but not sitcom gay
Daughter's a whore, like another girl that used to be her mother
But the marriage made her Miss Mary Americana
I want a teen, but that's screaming prima donna
But the radical feminists made my wife a man
Oh, and if I die happy
The situation
Will be auto-erotic
Asphyxiation
I hate my life and it hates me back
And my friend is black
But I don't know what to call him
So I just call him
... What up, Jamal?
Even though his name is Steve
I hate my job, I hate my life
I hate my kids, I hate my wife
Jews would know I do it
Judas beat me to it
I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma
And I masturbate because I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me!
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
(Pop) It's a boy
What's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?
Funny, yeah