uncool, stanley barber

4

4 - no one can die in a yellow car

i sat winnie upon a folded box so the seatbelt wouldn't hurt her neck. i made sure it's tight enough, as i'm not sure how good stanley is at driving. but i shove that to the back of my mind.

"you ready?" he asks as i do my own seatbelt beside him.

"yeah" i say, feeling uneasy. i haven't properly been driven anywhere since the accident. shit.

he started his 1978 ford fairmont, which made a questionable noise. i like his car, it's a good size to go on a road trip. also it's yellow, a favourite colour of mine.

we started driving slow until we weren't surrounded by houses and it was just the 3 of us and an open road.

i gripped the side door, making a fist with my other hand when we hit 50 speed. as stanley's singing along to bloodwitch, he stops and notices my tense body language.

"ella, you alright?" he asks to which i feel stupid. no one can die in a yellow car, that's like a law. but i think we're going to crash because he's focussing on me and not the road.

"STOP THE CAR!" i yell, shutting my eyes, holding back tears. stanley doesn't question, he just pulls in beside the trees.

i open the door and tumble out of the car to sit on the floor. i can't hold back my emotions as i burst into tears, cupping my face.

winnie knows what's going on, she's seen this before so she stays sat and occupies herself with stanley's junk left in the car. she knows i'll be okay in a minute.

after a few minutes, i hear the other door slam shut and someone sit beside me against the car. "i didn't know you get panic attacks. that sucks" stanley says softly. "my mum used to get them, i don't know if she still does. i'm sorry."

i look up at him and wipe my tears. god, stanley barber must think i'm a lost cause. "you know, els. you can tell me anything, you know that right?"

i hesitate before nodding. i rub my red eyes with my striped sleeve. but i miss a tear that stanley catches on his index finger. 'spose it wouldn't hurt to break down a wall.

"my mum died in an accident" i mumble, looking at my hands. "she was arguing with me. it was something stupid, but she got angry and tried to hit me. she did that sometimes. but we swerved into another car and, and-"

my breathing hitches in my throat again as i cover my face with my hands. "she died" i whimper.

time came to a stand still and i don't know how many minutes passed. i drop my hands and sniffle, to be enveloped in a hug by stanley.

he didn't care that i stained his shirt with tears. he didn't care that we were sat in dusty fallen branches. he didn't care that i'd made him stop the car.

we stayed like that until winnie tapped on the glass, indicating she was getting bored. i pull away from him, he never breaks eye contact.

we stand and brush ourselves down. i grab the handle before stanley places his hand on mine to stop me.

"i'll go slow" he says with a small understanding smile. his touch leaves mine as i feel okay. i trust him.

he sticks to his word as we trundle along. after a little while, we pull up by a field with a small park beside it.

"a park!" winnie steals as i set her down on the floor so she runs off to the play area. "come play in a bit!"

i wave her off as stanley walks over to the field. shrugging, i follow as we lie back beside each other and gaze at the blue sky.

"you're fun, you know that ella?" stanley says. i chuckle at his randomness.

"you sure about that?"

"totally" he sounds happy. we watch the clouds as he picks some daisies that he tosses my way. i start to weave a crown out of them.

"thanks, by the way" i smile. "i don't tell people about what happened. 'cause, it still stings, yanno."

"well i'm honoured" he says, sitting up and look down at me. "my life isn't great, els. but i'm happy, right now. thanks to you."

i stare up at him. this boy who i've learnt so much about in a few weeks. this boy with the curly hair and genuine smile. he's great.

i sit up beside him and place the daisy flower crown on top of his dark brown hair. it sits comfortably against his soft curls.

"thanks, stan" i smile at him to which he returns. the sun starts to set as we retrieve winnie from the playground. she falls asleep against my shoulder as we make it back to stanley's car.

3 kids, a ford fairmont and a flower crown.

'cause everyone needs some fluff in their life