uncool, stanley barber

18

18 - holding out for a hero

we tried. we tried everything. syd couldn't knock down the bowling pins, the empty can tower or pop some popcorn.

we sighed and decided to take a break, syd and stan leaning against the ball dispenser. i had my feet against it as i laid back on the floor.

"so, how does it normally happen? like after ricky's party" i ask syd.

"yeah, what was your mindset?" stan adds.

"i didn't have a mindset" syd sighs, frustrated that me and stanley can't understand what she can't understand.

i try again. "okay, but were you having fun and then just, blew down some trees?" stanley giggles at my question, but stops when he hears syd's awkward voice.

"i-i uh. i kissed someone, at the party" she says quietly. i feel bad for asking as i'm invading her private information.

"right so this person you kissed-"

"we're not gonna ask who-"

"i kissed someone who didn't wanna be kissed" sydney explains before we can continue. "and i felt like an idiot. it almost always comes out when i'm angry. or embarrassed. or scared."

"okay, well that's something" i say before stan stands up and helps me up to stand beside him, away from syd.

"i think i know why they didn't kiss you back" stan starts, "because you're incredibly ugly."

"holy fuck, stan!?" i slap his arm, but he pushes me behind him protectively. he's up to something and i've just gotta trust him.

"and you wanna know something that's even more embarrassing than being ugly? flunking biology. which you are most definitely gonna do. i mean, martin ganza passed biology and he thinks cyborgs staged the moon landing."

"okay i'm ugly, i'm dumb. that all you got?" syd asks, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"do you wanna know the scary thing? you're never going to figure this out. you'll never know what the hell's going on inside you. or what the hell's wrong with you. and that's gonna eat you up inside. you'll never have answers and that's going to haunt you for as long as you live. and that's gonna suck, yeah it will."

i hear the bowling balls grind against each other. they're moving, syd's making them move. i peer from behind the safety of stan to get a better look.

"but nothing will suck as much as your shitty family" the balls start to levitate as i blink a few times to make sure i'm not imagining this.

"for starters, let's talk about your dad. i hear he didn't even leave a note. and you wanna know something?"

as the balls levitate higher, i get scared and move backwards towards the wooden wall. we haven't seen what's she fully capable of and i don't wanna find out now.

"you'll never know why he killed himself!" stan finally says.

the bowling balls behind syd whizz past her head and past stan. before i know it, i'm screaming in pain as my wrist is lodged between the broken panels and a fucking heavy bowling ball.

"ELLA!" stan runs over to me, prying the ball out as syd stays still. she doesn't know what to do. "CALL AN AMBULANCE!" stan shouts at her, when he sees my dislodged arm.

she runs out, dialling on her phone. i collapse onto the floor in stan's arms. "shh, els. i know it hurts, shit i'm so sorry. you've gotta stay awake. don't look at it."

but that's the first thing i do and seeing the damage makes it more painful. "STAN, IT FUCKING HURTS. oh my god, oh my god!"

"don't worry, syd's calling an ambulance. just please, calm down."

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?-" i scream in agony as i move again. suddenly, of all people, my dad's running towards me. syd stands behind, her hand in winnie's. but i can tell she can't take the guilt anymore as she deserts us. winnie runs over to stan.

"arabella! oh my god" my dad says as he takes me out of stanley's lap and helps me to stand, trying to be careful of my arm. "we're going to the emergency room, okay? don't worry, try not to worry. son, what happened?" he asks stan.

"uhh. um" stan's lost for words. he's gotta be careful what he tells my dad. "we were messing around and then she didn't catch the ball and-"

"okay, thank you for being here with her" my dad rushes his words as i'm being sat in his police car. he must've been patrolling and seen syd looking distressed whilst on the phone.

"can i come with you?" stan follows us out of the building, winnie holding his hand. my dad takes winnie from him and buckles her up in a car seat.

"you should get going home, son."