uncool, stanley barber

22

22 - operation lying burrito bomb to save the sexcapade

after syd pried dina away from brad, she stared at us awkwardly. "somebody gonna say something?"

"w-we need your help getting the keys to the principal's office" stan says.

"so we can steal some security camera footage" i add.

dina snorts. "what? you're serious?" she can't read the situation as we stare at her blankly. "w-why? what's on the tape?"

my mum used to tell me curiosity killed the cat. finally, at this moment where syd's going to explain to dina, i understand it. i look at syd, she's gonna tell her.

"stanley and ella had sex in the library. and it's, it's all on tape" syd lies. this just got a whole lot messier. stan nods along as i just stay quiet.

"what?" dina says, trying to read my face. "no way."

"dead serious" is all i can splutter.

"it was right there in the library. we sixty-nined and everything" stanley says. i look up at him before looking at my feet. we've never done that, is that something he'd like to do?...

"can you even do that with a fractured wrist?"

"y-yeah" i say before going completely red. "totally."

"ok, fine. that'll be horrific if someone sees" dina agrees before she crops her top and walks into an english classroom, currently occupied by the janitor.

"thanks, syd" i mumble as i sit against the lockers, with my knees to my face. "why couldn't you just tell her?"

"are you kidding? look where's that's gotten me already" syd sighs before i puff out air.

"what's so bad about it?" stanley asks to which i slide even further down the metal. i decide not to answer his question as he sees me cringe. "it'll be fine."

i rest my head against stan's shoulder as he intertwined our hands. "anyway, i only like doing things that you're comfortable with. i said it just, in the moment."

i nod understanding. "stan, that's sweet" i nuzzle closer to him.

"how's your wrist?" he asks, looking at my free hand. "does it still hurt?"

"only when it's on a certain angle" i reply "it's just weird lying about it. i used to always tell the truth, now i don't. everything i say is bullshit."

"it's okay, els" stanley says, kissing my head. "i know, kinda sucks. but it's for a good reason."

"what, and we're lying to dina now?" i say a little louder so syd can hear. "we're her best friends, we can't just not tell her."

"for now, ella, we're not telling her" syd huffs "it's to keep anyone else from getting hurt." stanley agrees before tracing his fingers over my cast delicately.

dina come back out with the keys in hand. "holy shit you got 'em" syd says happily.

"pretty sure i set the women's lib movement back a couple decades," dina says "but other than that, it went great. so, what's the plan?"

stanley stands up as i join him as he explains the plan. he gets out 2 burritos from his pocket, strangely, and says he'll set off a burrito bomb.

it explodes as whitaker runs past us in the toilets, ready for us to emerge. dina goes the opposite way as she's on lookout. us 3 run towards the door.

stan fumbles with the keys and doesn't manage to open it in time before whitaker comes back. i'm watching over stan's shoulder when dina waves, signalling that he's coming back.

"move it!" i tap them both, before we dart over to the old trophy case and hide. i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding, when the fire alarm sounds and i watch as whitaker turns around. "let's go."

we fiddle around with some more keys until we're in, slamming the door behind us. we duck behind it and huddle together. i remember what stan said: "whatever you do, do not panic. do not bail. or we are screwed."

but i'm panicking as i hear whitaker try his keys in the lock. stanley grips my hand again as he knows i'm stressing, but suddenly a crash sounds from behind the door.

thank you, dina.

syd takes a peek and sees whitaker's going the other way so we get up and find the footage. i make a joke that it would be funny if we got the wrong footage, but that dies out quickly.

"i thought we were screwed" i say as stanley kisses the footage.

"you were screwed. and then we got the footage-"

"thank you, dina" i say sternly. dina and her lame sex jokes. i hide my smirk.

stan gets out a blunt, to which i take and so does syd. dina frowns at first, but after she sees me have fun, she also takes a puff.

as the hours went by, me and stan had most of the blunt until we made our way back to the gym. stan finished his rubik's cube, so i muddled it up and watched him do it again and again.

"you're really good at that" i say as i rearrange it. his head's in my lap as i hand it back to him, playing with his curls.

"i used to get bored. my mum got it for me" stanley sighs as i twiddle his hair around my finger. "i'm not as bored anymore, thanks to you."

"oh, shut up stan" i blush and hide my face. he sits up and sets his rubik's cube down, pulling my hands away carefully from my face.

"you can't hide from me" he says in a monster voice before i look at him. his eyes go over every flaw and freckle on my face, before he takes a deep breath.

"ella. w-will you go to homecoming with me?"

my heart flips, if that's even biologically possible. i don't know 'cause i'm failing that subject anyway.

i kiss his lips. "yes, stan. i'd love to."

he smiles at me and it feels great to be so close with him. we're not 'official', but going to homecoming is a closer step towards that. all i know, is that there's no one else i'd rather be with than stanley barber.

our shared happiness is interrupted by dina storming out of the double doors with brad behind her. sydney follows them out as they're all shouting.

"syd's lying, please dina. you're not seriously breaking up with me right now?!" brad shouts after an upset dina.

syd, lying? it can't be.

whitaker enters, furious to say the least. "hey, which one of you punks eats burritos?" me and stan giggle subtly but instantly fake a brave face when his eyes look over at us.

"alright, i don't know what the hell went on tonight, but i wanna see everyone in my office first thing in the morning!" the man shouts before exiting the gym, angrily.

brad threatens syd before i give him the finger. stanley brings it down so i'm not in the firing line like syd is now.

after detention, sydney tells us that she thinks someone is following her. she said she had a feeling she wasn't alone and that she wasn't flickering the lights. all of this baffled me as i say back, exhausted from today.

"so, who the hell was it?" stan asks.

and the look on syd's face says it all; she wish she fucking knew.

stan asked ella to homecoming 🥺
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