uncool, stanley barber

23

23 - if you believe it, then i do too

after detention, we ride back to stan's house to look at the tape. it's mostly fuzzy and doesn't give us a clear picture, but every time we get close to seeing it, it disappears.

stan's doing another rubik's cube and so i lean my head on his shoulder to watch the screen and his hands busy with the colours.

"there! there, freeze it there. yeah you see? what is that?" sydney says, yet again.

"umm-"

"well, can't you zoom in? enhance?" syd asks him urgently.

"enhance? what kind of fuckin' operation do you think i'm running here?" he sighs as he tries to enhance it, the best he can. "that just looks like your shadow."

i watch it again, seeing the library destroyed by syd's mind. "that's so cool" i say, watching as the books fly everywhere.

"it is so not cool! it's massively screwed up, can you stop doing that?!" syd shouts at stan's hands. he huffs and places the rubik's cube down.

"do you wanna look at it again?-"

"we've watched it like, a million times-"

"and we're just missing this fucker" stanley says, turning his head by not to move mine from his shoulder. "he's in there-"

"what if he's not? and i'm just completely insane-"

"you're not insane, syd" i say, reaching a hand out for her knee. "if you honestly believe that someone was there and they straight up fuckin' disappeared, then we believe it too."

stan places a kiss to my head before sydney speaks. "but then what if it is true? then that's means that someone's been watching me and you know what that means-"

"someone else knows" stanley says, which just stresses syd out even more. she says she wants to get home and sleep, so she leaves us and i don't blame her. what if she is being stalked?

"you staying round?" stan asks me to which i shrug. "could you?"

"yeah, sure" i smile getting out my phone "dad, i'm at dina's. sent."

stanley stands up and goes over to his record player. "any requests, mi lady?" he asks me in a terrible british accent. i stand up and find a record i like.

"the beatles?" he smiles. i nod before he drops it and 'strawberry fields forever' plays. "actually, it's perfect."

stanley comes over to me as he places my hands on his shoulders and his hands on my waist. "stanley barber, are you trying to teach me how to dance?"

"y-yeah" he smirks at me. "for homecoming."

he does a good job 'cause there's not much to it. "i didn't take you for a dancer, els."

"i'm not. my parents used to dance and i'd sneak out of bed to watch them. they'd sway to the late night tunes on our old crackly radio. they'd look at each other in a way that i'd never seen anyone look at each other. it was-"

i look at stanley, listening to me talk. his doe brown eyes never falter away from small sounds like a floorboard creak. he keeps looking at me, like i'm everything.

"it was love" i say. stanley smiles down at me before pressing his lips against mine. it's a different kiss to what i've felt from him.

"d-do you think we've got that look?" he asks me, we stop swaying. "do you think we've got love?"

stanley barber, staring down at me in his basement bedroom. his abusive father's watching crap television upstairs, unaware of me being here. my father, also unaware of me being here, thinking i'm at dina's. hiding secrets from the ones you love for the ones you..love.

"yeah, stan" i reply, feeling flushed. is it just me who thinks that? is he going to be freaked out? what if i've gone too far? "and, you don't have to say the same. i'm just being honest-"

but he kisses my lips to shut me up. it lasts a few seconds before he pulls back, leaving me stunned.

"i love you, ella."

the butterflies in my stomach melt away. my thoughts are quiet. my nerves cease to exist. my heart is happy.

"i love you too, stanley."