Akatsuki Randomness

Love Child

For Rita304_V2 Just a brief imagining based on our convo.

"Just get dressed!" Kakuzu yelled at the stubborn teen who was sitting on her bed, arms crossed, huffing in annoyance. "I don't have anything to wear!" She shouted back at him. He growled and flung open her closet door, revealing a jam packed closet with clothes spilling out from odd places. "You have thousands of dollars worth of clothes here! PICK SOMETHING!" Kakuzu yelled back, his frustration causing his tendrils to peek through his skin.

"No!" Shinju said, turning her head to the side and sticking her nose in the air, "I don't have the robe I wanted! That's what I want to wear!" Hidan entered her room, chuckling at his daughter's impudence and tossed a box onto her bed. "Here's the robe, bitch! Put it on! Let me see!" He practically danced around her in his excitement to see her happy. "You spent my money?! On this?!" Kakuzu snarled at his husband. "It's our money, dick face! Powers of fucking marriage laws, fucker!" Kakuzu facepalmed himself, muttering "I was drunk and your ass was good...biggest regret of my life."

Shinju smiled at her dads, arguing like always but deeply and fiercely in love with each other. She skipped to her bathroom and slipped on her new robe. It was a soft green, smooth and silky, with silver embroidery on the lapels. It's skirt was a little short and the opening showed a little more than what Kakuzu would be comfortable with but she loved it.

Exiting the room, she twirled in the robe, making the short skirt billow around her thighs. "I love it!" She proclaimed and gave Hidan a kiss on his cheek. "Ah, get the fuck out of here" the Jashinist muttered, his face red and a smile on his lips. Kakuzu looked down upon his daughter and narrowed his eyes. "It's too short. And tie your robe closed! I don't need some boy sniffing around you!" He lectured while she fixed her hair and applied some makeup.

"Oooiiiiiii...what are you getting all gussied up for?!" Hidan demanded, plucking the eyeliner from Shinju's hand. "I have a date" she said simply, taking the eyeliner back but Hidan was twisting the tube and watching the black pencil rise and fall with each twist. "Fucking weird" he whispered. Shinju giggled and took the eyeliner back but instead of using it on herself, she outlined Hidan's eyes. When she was done she stepped back and looked over her work. Nodding, Hidan turned to Kakuzu and struck a pose, "I'm fucking beautiful!"

"Kami help me" Kakuzu muttered while Hidan moved sensually around him before Kakuzu grabbed his arm and held him close to his side. "Who is this...this...date?" The miser managed to spit out. "Yeah! Why can't you date fucking girls?! At least there would be someone pretty in this Kami forsaken house!" Hidan joined in.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. It froze the three of them in their places until Shinju dashed down the stairs to answer the door. "No you fucking don't!" Hidan yelled as he chased her down the stairs and there was a brief tussle before he swung open the door.

"Hi" said the man standing on their doorstep. He was tall and muscular, his arms lean and strong from years of wielding a sword. His Kiri headband was tied sideways on his head but the most distinctive part of his appearance were the bandages covering his lower face. "Is Shinju here?" He asked.

"Wouldn't you like to fucking know?!" Hidan replied but Shinju pushed her way past him and linked her arm with the man's. "Zabuza! I missed you!" She said, her big brown eyes causing the man to smile tenderly. "Sorry, the mission took longer than expected" he explained.

Kakuzu had by now reached the others and he stood to his full heigh and crossed his arms across his chest loosely so as to make his shoulders appear broader than they were. "Have her home by 10. Intact" he ordered. "Touch a fucking hair on her Kami blessed head and I'll fucking gut you like a Kiri fish!" Hidan threatened. Shinju laughed and waved goodbye as she and Zabuza left to begin their date.

"Remember when she was so goddamn small? And needed us?! Kazu, what the fuck are we gonna do now?!" Hidan whined, unhappy that his little girl was growing up. Kakuzu shut the door and looked at his trophy husband. "Since our first has failed us, let's make another" he said and licked his lips. "Oh fuck..." Hidan muttered, eyes wide as he turned and ran up the stairs. Kakuzu caught him easily with his tendrils and the two set about trying to make another child.

At precisely 10 pm, Shinju walked into the house. Hidan was watching cartoons and Kakuzu was reading the paper, his reading glasses perched on the end on of his nose. "You're back! Oh my sweet sweet child!" Hidan cried as he wrapped Shinju into his arms. "You're such a softie" she laughed and hugged him back. "Did he try anything?" Kakuzu asked, folding his newspaper. "No, he was a perfect gentleman" she replied. He nodded, "he can continue to live, for now."

After saying her good nights, Shinju went upstairs to change into her pajamas and shower. Laying on her bed and texting Zabuza, she heard slamming and banging coming from the kitchen. Even after all these years, they still couldn't keep their hands off each other. She smiled, turned off her phone, rolled over and went to sleep.