Insecure

On My Nerve

(Picture of Colton on the side!)

Another day. Another waste. We were all sitting in the cafeteria. Colton chooses to sit in front of me. I feel my heart racing. Breathe... breathe... ok. I say while taking a deep breath.
"Jess. Why don't you leave Tessa?" asks Colton, trying to break the awkward silence between us.
"Umm... she's my friend?" came my answer. More like a question.

"Then why does she leave you out of most stuff? Carmen and Tessa are really close. Carmen controls you and judges you. Tessa does nothing. Even if she HAS control and is able to stop it." says Colton. I let his answer sink in. I never thought of it like that. Cassie doesn't do anything either but she feels bad and knows that if she does something, she will go back to her past. Wait a second... why does he care? When he said it, he sounded angry they were using me. I look at Jake, seeing him smirk at me. I don't respond.
"Don't you realize these things? I feel bad for you. DO something. It's YOUR life you're living? I think you might want the best of it." He says again.
"Wh... what... what do I do?" I ask in a weak voice.
"You choose." he says, gets up, and leaves.
What JUST happened? HE, out of ALL people, cares for me and feels bad? Who EXACTLY was he talking about? Tessa or Maddison? Sure, Colton's cousin, Cole, is cooler than him but, he is still on a high level. It seems like he never noticed me before, why now? Do I attract THAT much attention? I need an answer to these questions, and I need them BADLY!

***

I walked to class with Jake.

"So, how was your conversation with Colton?" Asks Jake, very curiously. I blush a bright pink.
"Umm... Good, I guess?" I answer uncertainly.
"Did he ask you yet?" Asks Jake.
"What? Ask what?" I ask curiously and wanting an answer immediately.
"So he didn't ask you yet?"
"Ask me what?" I shout furiously, getting some stares down the hall..
"Never mind." He says. I groan in confusion. "So what did you guys talk about?" He asks, trying to change the topic.
"How I have no control over my own life." I mumble to myself, letting the answer sink into me first. I still can't believe I never noticed this before, and it scared me that I don't notice all these tiny things in my life, I only focus on the big things, then I never realize that these small things make the biggest impacts on my life.
"What did you say?" Asks Jake.
"Nothing in particular." I say in a more confident tone, more for myself than for Jake.
"Alright." Said Jake, totally uncertain but he lets it slip this time. I'll admit it, I'm Tessa's puppet. Always was, and if I don't do something soon as Colton said so, I always will be one. Maybe I will let go of Tessa, and stick to Maddie, maybe some of her confidence will rub off onto me? Something struck me. I'm being used, by... EVERYONE!!! Who do I trust and what do I do?

***

"Ding!" Goes my doorbell. I run downstairs really fast only to end up face first into the hard tiled floor. I look back at what helped me fly into the couch. I scoff. It's a box and it's still perfectly in shape. Looking up, my reflection stands out. A huge bruise is forming on my shoulder and my cheek is swollen. I have to give credit to the small jewelry box. It sure knows how to trip me.

"Ding!" The doorbell rings again, snapping me out of my trance. Quickly getting up, I jog to the door. Right when I turn the lock, a force sends me flying backwards into the floor's hard surface. Soon i'm going to need to go to the hospital if this keeps happening. Someone enters the house. They start laughing to see me on the floor. I don't bother getting up, my behind, head, and shoulder are throbbing in pain. I shut my eyes, trying to control the pain, but it only worsens. A hand gets shoved in my face.

"Get up." They say while offering help. Groaning, I grab their hand and they practically pull me up without a problem.

I gasp at who is in front of me. Unbelievable! How could it be?

"Close your mouth, I know i'm hot and all, but I get tired of girls fangirling over me." He says.

"It's not that, it's the fact that you are in my house, let alone talking to me. I thought I was invisible to you and your squad." I snap at him. "What do you need from me now?" I ask. I don't know where the confidence came from. Maybe it's the fact that he made me fall, but i'm scared of this side of me.

"Sorry. Jake and Colton were begging me to do something for you to make it up to you for the silent treatment. I'm sorry about that incident." He replies. I sigh. Sooner or later I had to forgive him anyways.

"It's fine. So what were they begging you to do? Wait... how do you know where I live?" I ask cautiously.

"Sorry. I think you hit your head too hard off of the floor but Jake told me so I could teach you something for him."

"Excuse me! It's not my fault you're too strong you sent me flying across the room! Besides, since when did Cole Young, out of all people, do something nice for a low life like me?" I ask suspecting this was some sort of prank.

"Since Jake became my friend." Cole says in a 'duh' voice. 

"So what do you have to do?" I ask for the last time.

"Teach you self defense." He says confidently. Boy... this will NOT end good. Maybe it'll end at the hospital. By 'it', I mean me.