Band Member Oneshots

A Perfect Disaster

When you're feeling overwhelmed about how your anxiety takes over your daily life, Alex gives you a reminder on life.

"My anxiety got the best of me . . . again. I just lashed out at whoever was in close proximity to me because I was holding in my anxiety for a week about my job interview. Not to mention started to feel the panic towards my assignment because I have no clue about where to even start it! My hair? I practically ripped it out for how hard I was pulling on it!"

"(Y/N)..." As opposed to your fatigued and guilty admission, Alex's reply from the other end of the phone line is a soft warning, an attempt to remind you that you're making this scenario to be much bigger than it is in reality.

"I can't control it, Lex," you reply, the aftermath of the episode now translating to feelings of hopelessness and desperation, "this anxiety, it's taken over every aspect of my life. I can't do anything without it having its two-cent word!"

Frantically, you explain, "Submitting an assignment? I have to practically validate every one of my choices with my tutor to the point of it being annoying to her!" continuing, you add, "Getting a job? If not for the massive fear of getting interviewed in front of big bosses and making even the tiniest mistake, I'd have them all lined up!"

On the verge of hyperventilation due to exhaustion, you cry out in a pseudo-existential crisis, "When will my panic get better instead of worse? When will I get to that point in my life where I can feel comfortable in my actions without having anxiety shoved unto my back?"

"Truth is," you sigh conclusively, "I can't hack it anymore. Your words punctuated, you whisper, "Because. It's. Just. Too. Much."

"You're a perfect disaster (Y/N)."

Well, that was unexpected.

"What that's supposed to mean?" you screech. Now, this was a low-blow, considering that when you'd poured out your soul to your blonde-haired boyfriend, you were expecting some sympathy, not a philosophical motto or wherever Alex's words came from.

"For such a studious girl, you can be a bit clueless sometimes."

"You didn't!"

"Oh, but I did, sunshine." He echoes in a grave tone, profiting from your astonishment to give you a much-needed wake-up call on life.

"Has it ever occurred to you that instead of focusing on what your anxiety is doing to you in the present moment, you should be grateful for how experiences have made you a stronger person? " His words are direct, almost a slap in the face acting as a blunt reminder.

"The questions you send to your tutor," he brings up the sensitive topics, now fully engaged in the matter, "They're not annoying! You're using them to learn how to develop a lifelong skill, to embellish!" continuing, he adds, "That shakiness you feel when thinking about a job interview? It's a sign of your willingness, even though you're fearful beyond your wits'."

"Oh, here's one you probably forgot about," he teases, "We're in all well-committed relationship, so whatever happened to that insecurity you felt about being in a relationship after a series of unfortunate friendships?," clapping along to the syllables, as to show his point and adopting a tone reversed for children, he answers, "con-fi-den-ce did, that's what. "

"We're all human (Y/N)." He's fairer now, then adds a touch of personal reflection, "and because of that, when we forgive each another, but mostly ourselves, we become stronger." "So, the next time you come down from an episode," he proposes, "first forgive yourself, second, the ones around you. "

As you silently nod in agreement, in a trance by his words and inspired to follow through, he states, "Here's the actual truth. You gotta hurt sometimes to learn to heal. But, above all, you gotta get back up and learn to deal."

The conversation now veering to its end, evidenced by your bedroom's alarm clock announcing that there was 10 minutes remaining before you were set to go to bed, in preparation for tomorrow's first day of work, he leaves you with words that are both comforting and have your body build with heat.

You can just imagine the visual from the other end as he tells them; how being proud of himself, his full-toothed smile extends from one ear to the other despite his unkempt beard, while his tired and crinkled eyes still manage to be oh so illuminated.

"It's perfectly normal to be anxious. Don't fret, though, because even though you are, you'll still be the one I want. "