Tattoos

XIII

"He is the world's biggest fan of Channing Tatum. We went on a date and the guy screamed his name and other weird shit every time he came on the screen. I was even about to kiss him but Channing Tatum was more interesting," Dean explained to Charlie, his geeky, red-headed best friend.

She laughed and took another sip of her Starbucks coffee. "Can you blame him? Channing Tatum is a sex god, besides Benedict Cumberbatch and my woman crushes; I would've been screaming too."

"It was going to be our first kiss; I completely regret taking him to see 22 Jump Street, worst decision of my life. Next thing you know he'll be drooling over Christian Bale and Ben Afflic, imagining sex scenes between them in his nasty little porn-site of a brain."

Charlie smirked, "I took Cassie out to see The Dark Knight Rises and he literally went up to the IMAX screen and attempted to kiss Christian Bale's dick, I joined him, of course. Let's just say that nobody was impressed with us, but bitches will be bitches!"

"I will never know how I got stuck with a guy like him."

Charlie nodded, nearly choking on her drink. "You're so quiet and nerdy while he's punk ass rock."

Dean shook his head, "Cass and I agreed on punk-nerd, get it right. But...um, what should I do for our second date?"

"Since today's Thanksgiving and we're six o'clock loners, take him Black-Friday shopping with Dorothy and I. We can start making out in front of the Walmart manager, the guys hates me just because I told him how terrible his digital setup of the store was and how IPhones shouldn't be placed with the track-phones." Charlie explained, putting away her phone.

"Going shopping with Cass? Hells no."

Charlie grinned, "Come on, he'd love it. You can find out what he wants for Christmas too, besides your dick in his ass." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Dean chuckled and tossed his empty Starbucks cup in the nearby trashcan. "What is it with him and sex? I swear he runs off of sperm for fuçks sake; and what's the fun in banging a virgin? He seems to find it amusing."

Charlie's grin spread wider as she laughed. "I think it's more the part that you are a virgin, of all people. He's stripped guys' innocence before, like Dick Roman, ironic enough. They had an ongoing relationship until you guys met."

"Dick Roman? Is he that guy with black hair and always wears a suit?" Dean asked, twirling his straw in-between his lips.

Charlie nodded, "The guy's a bitch. His parents are rich so he thinks he owns the world. I don't even know how the two were paired in the first place, they're polar opposites."

"They ended it before I met Cass? I see them talking a lot and what I thought, and now know, is flirting."

Charlie's mouth hung agape. "No way! If they're flirting you better keep an eye on the bastards. They always have sex after flirting for like a week straight, I made a chart, no joke; it's on my phone if you wanna see it along with nudes of my celebrity crushes."

Dean made a disgusted face at Charlie's last comment. "If they fuçk each other while we're still together I'll just go back to Bella 'cause I promised him while we were together that I wouldn't have sex with her, he'd be pissed if I did."

Charlie playfully punched Dean's shoulder. "So evil! Welcome to the dark side, Luke Skywalker."

------

Dean took the Impala with him to go Black Friday shopping, which was his first mistake, followed by many more; apparently there's rules to it.

Rule 1: bring a big car, not a truck because its easier for thieves to steal from a truck.
Rule 2: Drink an energy drink before you leave.
Rule 3: bring a stress ball because people are aggravatingly rude.
Rule 4: Never bring Castiel.