Remember him

chapter 1

The beeping of my alarm woke me up that morning, the sun was peaking though my curtains; I yawn and sit up rubbing my face. I opened the curtains and windows suddenly the birds started singing, I sigh what a lovely day. I turn to my wardrobe and saw the simple black dress I had hung up the day before. I sigh again how could i forget about today.

"Mummy" a small voice says, I turn my head and see my five year old daughter standing in my door way already dress in her black dress, tights and Alice shoes. I look at her and smile even though she had put dress on backwards and her shoes on the wrong feet she had tried for me.

"Hi sweetie, you're up early" I say holding my arms out to her for a cuddle

"I couldn’t sleep" she says walking into my arms fighting back tears

"You don't have to go today, you can stay with Isla" I say, she shook her head; as much of a kind offer my friend had made looking after all the kids today, Adeline refused.

I pulled back from the hug and smiled at her,

"Shall we sort you clothes out?" I ask, she nods and takes my hand leading me into her room. I put her dress the right way and swap her shoes to the right feet, I look at her; her eyes glazed over with tears fighting to get through. I took her downstairs for breakfast and told her watch TV when she's done, I go back upstairs to get ready.

I quickly shower and brush my teeth before going into my bedroom, I sit at my vanity and start to blow-dry my hair. I finish and scrape my hair into a bun. I slowly start to pull my simple black dress over my head trying not mess up hair I should look half decent today. I decide that a little bit of makeup wouldn’t hurt so I apply a little bit of tinted moisturizer and eyebrow powder before going back downstairs.

Shortly after family started to arrive, my mum and brothers were first to arrive, followed by Julian's parents we sat and made small talk waiting for the cars to arrive.

The wait was mentally draining I couldn’t think of how the actual funeral would be like, all those eyes on my family I was sweating already. Adeline grabbed my hand and squeezed it, I look at her smile how could a five year old be so calm.

"Jade the cars are here, are you ready?" Mrs Bennett asked fighting back the tears. I squeeze Adeline's hand and nod. we go to assigned cars and make the drive to the church; as we drive we pass families on their fresh autumn walks each one smiling or laughing and I felt a pain in the pit of my stomach every time, every time I saw a smile or heard the faint laughter at traffic lights I was angry; angry that they didn’t feel what I felt at that moment or what Adeline felt or anyone on their way to this horrible day.

The church looked beautiful; the little drops of rain on the stain glass window made it look as of the church itself was mourning the loss of him, I couldn’t bring myself to say his name ever since I got that phone call his name never left my lips.

Everyone picked a seat waiting for the service to start. silence filled the church, everyone eventually found a seat and the service started; my eyes locked on the pictures on Julian's casket, frozen in time his toothy grin plastered on his face, and his military picture next to it.

"I didn’t wake up expecting to fall in love that day but then again who does.”