The road to Hell follows a long train track, and at the end of it is a large graveyard. Stones used as grave markers,
"Is there a train in Hell?" You ask Beetlejuice.
"Yes there is, it's called Hell on Wheels," he responds.
"Why didn't we use that?"
"Because then we wouldn't have bonded."
You punch him in the nuts and run ahead into the graveyard. "Where are the lawyers?" You yell. Beetlejuice said he was going to take you to the best lawyer in all of Hell. This place was a graveyard!
"These are where your favorite shows rest after they close. For some reason there are a lot of lawyer characters on Broadway, so literally take your pick."
You wander among the gravestones, seeing the names of some of your favorite shows, when a name catches your eye: To Kill a Mockingbird. The show isn't closed yet, but can you say Deus Ex Machina? Let's be honest, the show practically got one foot in the grave.
"Hey I know this one!" you say to Beetlejuice. "Atticus Finch was a lawyer."
In a puff of smoke, a middle-aged man in a vintage suit and briefcase covered in dust appears. It's Atticus.
"A lawyer!" Beetlejuice screeches.
"Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." Atticus says in a classic transatlantic accent.
"Uhh okay atty boy what does that have to do with anything?" Beetlejuice jabbed.
"There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible," responded Atticus.
"Wait... Dad?" spat Beetlejuice.
"Oh no." You say.
"No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat." said Atticus while smiling.
Wiping a tear, Beetlejuice says "I won't, dad."
"No, Beetlejuice he's-" You stammer. "I think he's just speaking his lines."
"He's just wise, Y/N!" cried Beetlejuice.
"You're joking." You say.
"You rarely win, but sometimes you do." Atticus said reassuringly.
"Damn right, dad."
"Don't pay any attention to her, just hold your head high and be a gentleman." Atticus declared.
"You know what, I won't!" Beetlejuice sobbed, "Find another lawyer! My dad is not available!"
Y/N sighs.
What the hell? (literally).
"Can you at least tell me how to get out of here?" You ask.
"Go back up the tracks, take a left at the tortured souls, and the door will be on your right."
YOU ARE READING
A GENTLEWOMAN'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND MURDER
FanfictionA GENTLEWOMAN'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND MURDER, OR HOW TO SUCCEED IN DIVORCE WITH ACTUALLY A LOT OF TRYING (Hamilton X Reader)(Slime Tutorial) You are a middle class waitress/bartender married to Alexander Hamilton. He is a slutty buffoon and you are too...
