𝘞 𝘏 𝘌 𝘕 𝘙 𝘈 𝘐 𝘕 𝘍 𝘈 𝘓 𝘓 𝘚

police phone calls i made because i refused to a doctor.

""i think i wanna try a sip,"
the white girl with freckles across her nose yawns,
"pink lemonade doesn't taste good anymore."
and i'm sitting in silence in the detention room.
it's mostly empty,
so i shoot myself in the head.
"i think i wanna try a sip,"
i say after chewing a hole into my knuckles."

"and i'm sitting in silence
after waking up from a bad dream.
and i sit and watch raindrops race down my window.
i open it.
i jump."

i tell the woman on the phone
of the visions i see.
the ones where i stick my hand down my throat
and pluck my lungs from my chest
and as i slowly die
crush them with the little strength i've got left.

"i fear that i am my own poison
and that sometimes the only way to fight yourself
is to hug the venom out of the bite.
is to love the rattlesnake for it's tail.
is to drink the poison until you are immune.
and that immunity is what kills everyone."

— police phone calls i made because i refused to a doctor.