The World Through Blue Eyes

Chapter 7

"Hey. Why'd you run off like that?" I asked. 

"Fuck, I'm so sorry I know that probably freaked you out I promise it was me not you." He explained. 

"You can tell me anything y'know," I reminded him. 

"Not this because...well I like you...as more than a friend and this will change everything because you won't want me like that anymore." He sighed. "And I need you. I hate relying on people and I never do but suddenly this random blue eyed girl from the beach changed everything..." 

"Nothing will change how I feel for you, ever."

"This will because...your straight." He said, hiding his face in his hands. 

I shook my head "what does that mean?"

"It means I want to be a girl." He admitted. "I always have. I know...well I don't dress girly or whatever but when I'm at home in private I like to steal my foster Mum's makeup and clothes and try it on...that's why I got kicked out of my last place. That's why your mum is my hero like she got everything I want...."

"Mother, Claudia is my mother and Crystal is my mum.....not that it matters. Look I care about you, a lot, and I'm gonna be here for you through all this, you can always trust me ok?" I told him. 

"Thanks." He sighed. 

"What?"

"Well that was all very platonic wasn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..fucking hell Livie that kiss was amazing. I don't want some friend to be here for me, I don't need anyone ok I've been looking after myself since I could walk, I want...I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to kiss you, and do all that cheesy shit from movies like I dunno walks on the beach at midnight.....I've been looking my whole life for a family and I feel like I've found it with you but I don't want you as some fucking friend who tries to fix me, I want to be there for you and look after you, I want to get a house and adopt a kid and....I know this is a lot but this is what I've dreamed of since I was young..." 

"You want Claudia's life?" I asked. 

"Yeah." He nodded. 

"Bloody hell Livie, the first guy you fall for is gay, the second one you would need to turn gay to be with...talk about dating in Brighton, the LGBTQ+ capital of England, life or what...." Daniel laughed. 

"Daniel fuck off would you?" Mother snapped throwing a pillow and hitting Daniel directly in the face. 

"How are you feeling about all this Liv?" Mum asked. 

"I......I don't know." I replied honestly, sipping the chamomile tea Mother had made me. "I always wanted a love story like you two have and now I might finally get it but..."

"No honey, you don't date someone because you want the cute love story, you date someone because you love them more than anything in this world and you want to be with them." Mum smiled, looking at mother. 

"Or because you want a shag." Daniel chipped in. 

"Oh Daniel would you do one?" I shouted. 

"No he has a point...not every relationship has to be 'the one' I mean don't get me wrong I love your mum so much and I wouldn't trade the life we have for anything in this world but we've both agreed that we wish we met a little later, even a few years, so we had a chance to date a little first. What Chris is proposing is a lot for two eighteen year olds and I think he is looking for a family which I understand, when you don't have parents who love you then you do look for that, but it's a lot for now. I don't want you to get together based on some love story you love, you have to find your own love story not copy other peoples." Mother said. 

"Honey, I guess I have to ask, how are you feeling about the gender issue? I came out as lesbian before you mother came out as trans so it wasn't like I was ever in this position, do you think you would still want to date Chris now you know that they want to be a girl?" Mum asked. 

"I...I've never thought about it...it was always suppose to be Alex so I didn't even consider girls. I think I don't really care about that though, pansexual is it called? When you care about the personality not the gender? I think I'm that." I said. 

"Ok my darling, and we support that completely whether it stays as that or changes." Mum reminded me. 

"So I'm the only straight one?" Daniel checked. 

"Yeah, how boring imagine being straight." Mother smiled, pretending to gag. 

"I think I need to talk to Alex." I decided