Wait for me to come Home

Chapter 60

Four days.

It had only been four days, but it felt like an eternity. Every second dragged, every moment was agonizing, and Jennie fell to pieces.

She lay in bed all day every day, not eating, not talking – just crying until she exhausted herself, and then she'd drink the tea that her mom had spiked with sleeping pills, and she'd let sleep overcome her. But even that wasn't much of a relief. Before her mind had tortured her sleep with dreams about all the ways Lisa could die over there in Afghanistan, but now, Jennie's worst fears had come to pass. Now, her mind tortured her in new ways, and every time she slept she was met with dreams of Lisa laying curled up next to her in bed, or throwing her head back laughing at some joke Jennie made as they walked down the street. All the things she'd taken for granted came back to haunt her in the worst way possible, and those few moments when Jennie woke up left her thinking that those dreams were real. But they weren't, and each time the weight of losing Lisa would come crashing down on her, and the cycle would repeat itself.

After that first day, Rosé, Jisoo and Yuri went back to Jisoo's apartment, and Jisoo came over every day to check on Jennie. She wouldn't speak to Jisoo when she visited, she'd just stare at the ceiling, until Chaerin came in and they'd have a whispered conversation that Jennie tuned out. Then she'd leave, promising to come back tomorrow, even though Jennie wished that she wouldn't.

Chaerin dragged Jennie out of bed every day, just for five minutes so she could shower and change into clean pyjamas, but besides that, Jennie refused to move. No matter how much Chaerin prompted her, she would lay in bed and ignore whatever her mom was saying. There was nothing she could say that could comfort Jennie now - nothing that could take her pain away. Except there was one thing that could numb it, and on the fifth day, when her mom left her side long enough to sleep for a while, Jennie dragged herself out of bed and made her way over to her liquor cabinet. If she couldn't make it go away, she could drink until she didn't hurt anymore.

And that was how Jisoo found Jennie, sat on the sofa nursing a full glass of whiskey, already deep into her cups by the way she was looking at Jisoo when she walked in.

"You're up," Jisoo quietly exclaimed, blinking in surprise at the sight of Jennie out of bed. Taking a big sip of her drink, Jennie ignored Jisoo's words. Hesitantly, Jisoo hovered near the kitchen counter, watching Jennie with uncertainty. "We-, I-, h-how are you?"

Jennie didn't reply, she just drained the rest of her glass and staggered to her feet. She stumbled slightly, before righting herself and lurching towards the liquor cabinet. As she reached for the vodka this time, a hand gripped her wrist. Looking up in surprise, Jennie blinked at Jisoo as she waited for her to let go.

"I think you've had enough," Jisoo said. Wrenching her hand out of Jisoo's grip, Jennie poured a large measure of vodka into her tumbler, ignoring the quiet sigh that came from the other girl. "Jennie, I-I know it's hard. I-, we need you."

"Need me?" Jennie drunkenly laughed, a humourless sound that was full of bitterness. A lump rose in her throat and tears pricked her eyes, and Jennie downed her drink all at once. "Nobody needs me. The only person who did is dead. Sh-she's dead, Jisoo. Blown to pieces, and I-I wasn't there to s-save her. She promised. She p-promised she'd come home, and she-"

"Shh, it's okay," Jisoo said, reaching for the glass of vodka.

"IT'S NOT OKAY!" Jennie yelled, throwing the empty glass against the wall as she let out a heart-wrenching sob. "TELL ME WHAT PART OF THIS IS OKAY? TELL ME."