Wait for me to come Home

Chapter 61

A week. Only a single week had passed, and Jennie couldn't bear the thought of living through another week that long. It had stretched on for an eternity – even though Jennie spent as much time as possible sleeping with the aid of her pills. Still, she'd barely eaten a thing, and the waistband of her sweatpants had to be pulled in a little tighter to stop them sagging around her hips, and the circles under her sunken eyes didn't go away, no matter how much she slept. Jennie had always been pale, but her face looked sallow as if she was sick – and she was; she was sick with grief and the worst part was that there was no cure for it. And that was only the first week. She would have a lifetime of this.

And yet, as painful as it was, Lisa still consumed every single waking thought of Jennie's. It was like an endless loop inside Jennie's mind – her face, her eyes, her lips, her mouth, her laugh, the smell of her perfume, how soft her hair felt as Jennie ran her fingers through it. Jennie remembered it all. Every moment was a fresh memory come to torture her, and after yet another dream of Lisa being home safe with her, Jennie no longer found any comfort in sleep.

As hard as she tried, there was nothing Chaerin could do except sit by her daughter's side and gently try and prompt her to eat or drink and take a shower and get changed. All that was left behind was the ghost of the girl Chaerin had raised and it was frightening. Jennie had always been a fighter – physically, verbally and emotionally. She'd struggled to open herself up to people, to let them inside, but she had with Lisa and that had been her downfall. Jennie had always been stubborn, but now, she could barely get out of bed. There was nothing she could do to fight away the pain of losing the centre of her world, and instead, she let her grief consume her and become and silent statue, lying in bed day after day.

Yuri stopped by once – bringing herself out of her own grief to come and check up on Jennie. Her priorities were always for her daughter's, and Jennie was no less her daughter for her having lost another one, that much was for sure. Jennie had been asleep when Yuri had visited, and she was glad for it because she didn't think she could look into the hollow eyes of the woman who had just lost her daughter. She didn't think she could bear another reminder of everything Lisa had given her, because without Lisa, she never would've had a loving family, and it even stung to think about how Chaerin was only here right now because of everything Lisa had done for Jennie. She'd come into Jennie's life, flipped everything upside down and had left Jennie alone to adjust to it, and Jennie didn't know how to cope.

After her shouting match and breakdown with Rosé, Jennie had become slightly more productive, to the extent that she tore her apartment apart, finding anything that reminded her of Lisa and locking it in her bedroom, before moving into one of the spare rooms that wasn't contaminated by any thought or memory of Lisa. Chaerin had even helped her move both of her sofas into the bedroom too, without a single word of protest – she understood that Jennie needed to do this, it was what she had always done, locked her pain away where it couldn't touch her anymore. So everything went into Jennie's bedroom, leaving the apartment looking very bare because Lisa had been etched into the very walls of the place. Everything but the engagement ring on her finger – Jennie couldn't bring herself to remove it, and instead, had broken down on her bedroom floor, surrounded by everything that reminded her of Lisa.

And that was what led Jennie to leave her apartment for the first time in a week. By the end of the week, she found herself back in her bedroom, sobbing on the floor and holding her hand with the ring on it to her chest. She was surrounded by everything that reminded her of Lisa, and she'd never felt more alone in her entire life. It was like she was surrounded by all the memories of Lisa, but with none of the life behind them. The cluttered mess was a jumbled mixture of clashing memories, and Jennie's heart hurt. She needed to go somewhere – somewhere where she could feel Lisa. Somewhere free of all the stale reminders, where she was still alive. And Jennie knew just the place.