Forever Imprinted.

Chapter Four- After.

Chapter Four- After.

-Of Anger.

You’d expect your best friend to be there for you after a break up. You’d expect someone there to hold your hand and let your cry on their shoulders. That was what I wanted. There was just one problem.

He was my best friend.

I let out a deep sigh and turned the volume on the TV up. I was watching Saw, it was his favorite movie. It was mine too. On our first date we watched it together. It was raining out and we couldn’t go have the picnic we had planned. We watched Netflix and ate butter popcorn all night. When I got scared I would hide my face in his shoulder. It was perfect.

To Carly:

Can you come over?

When your best friend can’t comfort you, a friend’s the next best thing. But that was the third text I sent Carly that evening. We should’ve been eating ice-cream and burning all my old picture of James and I. But it was okay. Carly hated horror shows. She would have probably wanted to watch The Notebook or something. I didn’t feel like watching romance. I wanted to see guts and blood.

I was used to being alone.

It was nothing new.

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Mom left for work that morning, making me promise to get out of bed and take a shower and eat some food. I had groggily agreed but I started to regret it a half an hour later. I had just changed my clothes and ate an apple and some cereal when I saw it. Right by the stair was a calendar. A big red circle around a date. ‘James and I one year anniversary,’ was written on it.

The first meal I had in three day didn’t even stay down for ten minutes.

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Happy anniversary Cass.

You guys are perfect together.

Whoa. A year? You guys are my OTP!

You guys will be together for-

I slammed my laptop shut as I wiped frustratingly at the tears streaming down my face. What did I do to deserve this? I was a good friend and James always said I was the best girlfriend anyone could ask for.

One week before our one year anniversary my boyfriend broke up with me and then all I kept seeing is ‘Happy Anniversary.’ My friends won’t even the ones leaving it, it was his.

I didn’t have friends.

I didn’t have a boyfriend.

It was just my mother and I.

How much longer until it’s just me?

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I wiped at my tears for the fifth time that hour. I hated crying. I hated crying over him more.

‘I promise you I’ll never leave you like he did.’

The words echoed it my head and the day he said that played in my mind. Just another broken promise. Just like my heart.

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I didn’t need best friend to eat chocolate ice-cream with. I didn’t need someone to burn all my ex-boyfriend’s picture with. I could do it all by myself.

I stared at ripped and burnt pictures of James and I. Smiles on our faces and happiness in our eyes. If we knew this would happen, would we have still been smiling? Would we continue and live in the moment or would we have just let the inevitable happen sooner rather than later.