Forever Imprinted.

Chapter Six- After.

Chapter Six- After.

-Of Offers and Rejection.

“Sometimes things get worse before they get better.”

He was too fast. His foot stopping the door from slamming shut.

“What do you what James,” I growled at him. My voice held more venom than expected. He looked slightly taken back before he composed himself.

 “I need to explain myself, please Cassie,” he begged. I felt my heart stop at the nickname.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “What’s there to explain?”

“I love you Cassie. I love you so much. I thought it was for the better. I didn’t want you to get more hurt.”

Those were the words I wanted to hear. That he stilled loved me. That he still cared. But all I could think about what the other voice on the phone. The words she spoke and what they meant.

“Who is she?” I found myself asking. It was like my brain was taking control. Asking all the questions I wanted answers to but was too afraid to ask.  But no matter whom it was I was still going to be heartbroken.

“Carly,” he whispered.

And betrayed. Heartbroken and betrayed.

“Just leave,” I croaked. I hated myself for sounding weak. For putting my feelings on display.

“I was drunk,” he defended himself and I surprised us both when I laughed. It’s dry, humorless and terrifying.

“You didn’t sound drunk on the phone.”

He sighed before he passed his hand through his brown locks. His sea green eyes held pain as he quickly glanced from me to the ground.

“I’m not talking about that time,” he whispered so soft I thought I heard wrong. It was like he was ashamed to say it. Like he didn’t want anyone to know. Something that wasn’t even meant for nature to hear. And I wish I hadn’t heard it.

I stumbled back as the tears I had been trying to hold in finally let free. They flowed down my cheeks as my body began to shake and my head began to spin.

“When?”

He hesitated. His eyes filled with shame. “Two months ago.”

 And that was when my body finally gave in.

>< 

“Cassie, are you okay? Hey, hey take it easy.” James gently pushed me back down on the couch.

“I called your mom. She said it was probably because you weren’t eating, stress and some other shit. You’re okay though right?”

“You.”

“What?” he questioned with a puzzle look on his face.

“The ‘some other shit’ is you,’ I whispered. I pushed myself to my feet despite James’ protests.

“Cassie-” he attempted to talk but I was angry and sad and tired.

“No!” I roared, my tone louder than expected. I took a deep breath and in a much softer tone spoke. “You slept with my friend and you didn’t tell me for two months. Two months! Then you break up with me! You didn’t care how I felt. You didn’t talk to me. You didn’t care at all! And now I don’t care!”

“It was a mistake okay? We had gotten into that fight and I drank a little too much at that party. I was gonna tell you! Damnit Cassandra! I was gonna tell you. I was gonna beg for your forgiveness. But…you said you loved me and we were happy and…I’m sorry okay? I’m so fucking sorry but I can make this right-”

I cut him off with a whimper as my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. I wasn’t even crying anymore. The tears couldn’t come. It was just dry heaves. The pain in my chest intensified and the four walls of the room began to close in on me.

“Is that why you said you loved me? Because you felt guilty!” I shouted. Is this what it felt like? Is this the real deal? Was what I was feeling just the beginning? Is this what real heartbreak felt like? Because if it is…I don’t ever wanna fall in love again.’

“What? No! Cassie!” and before I knew it I was in a familiar pair of arm. His hands played with my hair as he whispered ‘I love you’ over and over. And then I felt myself hitting him. Pounding my fist on his chest as he stood and took it. He continued whispering the biggest lie he ever told me. And all I wanted was for it to be true.

“You said you loved me you bastard! Was it some sick twisted joke! I trusted you!”

“Cassie,” he grabbed my wrist, stopping my fist from making contact with his chest.

“You promised James. You promised you wouldn’t be like him,” I whispered. I pulled myself away from him and took a few steps back.

“I’m an idiot. An asshole. A fool. I know, I fucking know Cass. Just…please. Forgive me?”

“Maybe if you didn’t cheat on me with my friend. Maybe if you didn’t wait two months to tell me. Maybe if you didn’t break up with me one week before our anniversary. Maybe if you had talked to me. Maybe if you really loved me. But sometimes, maybe, people don’t get second chances. Because sometimes they promised they never would give you a reason to beg for one.”

“Cassie-”

“Go James. Leave. Don’t try to talk to me and forget I exist because I know I wanna forget you. But I know I can’t. Because you’re my first love. You were my everything. No, you are my everything. But I can’t…how can I forgive you when I’m nothing to my everything? Just leave.”

He swallowed and nodded before he made his way to the door. I followed.

“Cassie,” he whispered as I began to close the door. I shook my head in return.

“You said you loved me,” he whispered. And as I stood there, on the other side of the threshold I felt like a world away. That we were to teenagers with glasses protecting us from each other. And I wanted to break his glass. Just like he broke my heart.

“Yeah, I lied.” And with those words I watched as he dropped to his knees, his body shaking with silent tears. And I slammed the door in his face.

I should have felt something. I had the last words. I destroyed his heart too. I should have felt something but I was numb because no matter what I said I would always love James. I wish I didn’t. I wish this process was easier. That I would just wipe him from my memory and forget he existed.

But I couldn’t. Because I could never forget my first love.

He was forever imprinted.

A/N.

Oh snap. Who saw that coming?

This was the most emotional this story has ever gotten and I don't feel like i did it justice... :(.

Anyway for my Christmas gift to you, comment a link to your story on this chapter or if you can't do that bc of Wattpad rules just put the name of one story and I'll add it to my reading list. I'll probably read about two chapters and give feedback.

Uh...my Christmas goals for this story is 500 reads and 100 votes and comments! We're almost their. 

Thanks to those who follow, vote, comment and add to reading list. I love you guys. I'll update in two days Please God.

So...uh thoughts on this? 

-xoxo,

Jay.