You Know, I've Always Loved You

'another day, another worry'

Tine hadn't been back to that room since that day. The day that he and Sarawat had been interrupted by Peuk's phone call. But wait, interrupted, interrupted from what? What had the two of them actually gotten themselves up to? That is what Tine has been asking himself since it had happened.

He could still imagine the warmth of Sarawat's hands on him as well as the other man's breath on his lips. But Tine was a man and so was Sarawat. what they did, was that right? Were two guys supposed to do that, especially if they weren't gay?

The word gay hung in his mind in his mind like a bat in a cave, which would have been fine if it weren't the only thing that was there in that moment, but since it was, Tine had found himself fixated on it. Well, in all honesty, he of course couldn't speak for Sarawat, but Tine had always considered himself straight. He had always been an avid appreciator of girls, something that his friend group would most likely call their gawking at the various pretty girls on campus. And even more, he and his friends talked about girls constantly. He couldn't remember the last time a girl walked by and he didn't turn his head to watch her walk away. So he obviously liked girls, bu-but what about boys? Tine wondered. He had never even considered it an option. He had never thought about another guy in that way. Of course he might have found someone attractive but it was always a little bit different right? it was at least a little bit different for everyone other than Sarawat.

Tine had admitted to finding the other man attractive on multiple occasions. Despite this recognition of attraction, he never thought of acting up this feeling. In fact he hadn't ever even thought about how he could approach his recognition of Sarawat's strong appearance. He had always just flung the idea out of his head, thinking he's attractive so what? But now, with every glance he stole at Sarawat during music club, Tine couldn't help but think of everything Sarawat had done or said to him on that day. From Sarawat's soft caresses to his tongue which had practically berated Tine's mouth, it was almost impossible for Tine to stop thinking about it. His focus had been all over the place since that day. Everything Sarawat had said and done now clogged every part of his brain and his heart.

Tine's thoughts would even wander as far as to think what might have happened if Peuk had not called him. Thinking of Sarawat in that way and what he would have done to Tine's body sent shivers down Tine's spine. As his thoughts began to trail off, he realized his face had become a rosy pink color after all his brains hard work.

Having been all too caught up in his own head, Tine didn't even notice the arrival of his friends, who had all been watching him as the cogs turned in his head. Upon realizing he was back to reality, Ohm spoke up: "Welcome back daydreamer. What you got going up on in that head of yours? Met a cute new girl who you can't get off your mind?"

Tine just shook his head as a small smile that he couldn't control crept across his face, in a way, he thought.

"In a way? In a way what?" Peuk questioned.

Oh shi- did I say that out loud? Tine's eyes shot up to his friends, the small smile now gone and replaced with slight panic at the inquiring of the escaped words. His friends simply stared at him, looking just as confused as he was. Tine figured due to their own confusion that they hadn't have been able to fully understand the meaning behind his words so he knew he and his thoughts were safe for the time being.

He was at ease knowing that his friends couldn't read into his words but he worried if he stayed around he might let something else slip. He began to rack his brain for any excuse to leave the conversation before they tried to get to the bottom off his off the hand comment, but it was hard to come up with something clever when all he could think of was Sarawat's lips on his neck and hand around hi-. He shut that thought down immediately, shaking his head from side to side. No not here. He thought. I can't think about that here.