You Know, I've Always Loved You

'I guess, I just wanted to make sure you were okay'

Tine had skipped all school activities that afternoon. No music club. No cheer leading. He didn't even bother to wait around to walk home with his friends. He had told himself that he couldn't risk running into Sarawat, especially after the close call before class that morning. It's too dangerous. Sarawat could be anywhere, Tine thought. Not to mention the text. He still had to figure out how in the world he wanted to respond to that.

He opened his phone again to look at what Sarawat had sent him hours earlier. No matter how many times he read the three sentences, he still couldn't believe that the singer had sent him that. He knew Sarawat was bold, but offer to - Tine stopped. He couldn't continue to look at the words when he knew Sarawat had just sent them to mess with him. The whole situation frustrated him beyond belief. He knew that Sarawat was just teasing him because of what they had done. He knew Sarawat. He knew he would continue to pester him with it and watch him squirm like the jerk he was. And he hated him for it. But then again, he didn't. he didn't hate Sarawat. Sure the man was bothering Tine by holding that morning over his head, but there was a part of Tine that deep down enjoyed the fact that Sarawat kept bringing up that day. It meant that Tine wasn't the only one who was still thinking about it. And the fact that Sarawat continued to look for him and touch him and call out his name, it all had an effect on him, and not the negative effect that he kept trying to convince himself of. Instead it all kind of gave Tine hope, hope that there, there might be another -

"No!" Tine shouted, throwing his head into his hands. How can I think like that? He shook his head vigorously as if to shake all of his past thoughts out of it, erasing everything like marks in the sand. Raising his head from his hands after letting his mind rest a bit, Tine looked at his mirror across the room. He saw his reflection, the same one he had seen all his life. Of course, he had changed quite a bit since he had first looked into a mirror but still when he looked at a mirror, he could recognize the person staring back as himself. However, there was something new that he saw in his reflection. Something that he had begun to notice recently with every time he'd check his outfit in the morning before leaving for school. It was a sort of weight. It wasn't a physical weight, but Tine felt it nonetheless. It was a weight that pressed down lightly on his shoulders. It wasn't painful, but it was enough to notice every once in awhile.

He saw this small change and wondered what it was. What in his life had been altered? What could be bothering him? Previously he had decided to ignore it, but today it was more present than ever so it made him wonder, what in the world was causing this change, and how could he get rid of it so he could be back to normal. Tine sat staring at his reflection as if in a trance, trying to unearth what was behind all this cognitive pressure.

He would have continued to stare blankly into the mirror if it were not for his phone which was still in his hand, vibrating. A familiar name showed up on its screen, and at the same time, the weight begin to slowly melt away. "Sarawat", he read the phone screen aloud.

Tine debated on picking up or not. If he picked up, he'd probably get teased again, but if he didn't pick up who knows what Sarawat might do. He knew where Tine lived. Maybe he'd break in. Tine lightly slapped himself on the cheek for that last thought. What has gotten into you, Tine? He thought. What are you a child afraid of black cats? Sarawat's just classmate. Talking to him won't hurt anything. And with mention of that thought, Tine accepted the call. What he didn't notice, however, was how his finger slightly trembled as he moved to slide the button to pick up the call and how his pulse became just the smallest bit faster. If he had noticed, he might have thought it was because he was scared of what Sarawat might say, but in reality, it was in excitement of getting an opportunity to here the voice of the singer that he had actively been avoiding all day.

An even toned "hey" came through the line and into Tine's ear. After not receiving any response for a few seconds, the voice on the other side of the phone spoke up again, "Tine?" The owner of the name thought of the last time he had heard the guitarist say that syllable. It had been that day, the day that he kept on telling himself to forget but he couldn't because a part of him deep down still held tightly to it.