Strictly Kids

Chapter 2

Whilst Dianne Kevin and stacey were in there room the others were all talking.
Ali. They really want a kid
Pasha. I know.
Gorks. Dad whose having a kid.
Neil. No one gorks. Just your uncle kev and auntie stace.
Katya. Oh yeah mister. And what have you told the little ones.
Gorks. Oh they heard you all talking about kids and they asked me so I made something up
Ali. What did you tell them
Gorks. That the man sticks a magic wand in her mouth and they grow a baby and then when the baby has grown the magician comes and magics it out.
We all laughed.
Janette. Well alijaz thought you had told them the right version.
Gorks. Oh where the bloke shoved his di-
Neil. Shut up.
Neil was trying hard to keep a straight face but he was laughing.
Katya. Neil. Gorka anymore and I'll take your phone and you can't go out with Gemma at the weekend.
Gorka. Sorry
Kevin and stacey walked down with dianne holding both their hands.
Pasha. How's she been
Kev. Good. Had a bath a nap and tormented Stacey.
Stace. Shut up you told her to.
Faye. Oh god what have you taught her.
Kev. Nothing bad just how to get a woman off her man
Pasha. Kevin
Kev. I'm joking. I'm joking. Taught her how to count to what was it stace.
Stace. Twenty. We were playing hide and seek. Well hide seek and attack.
Kev. Ye whenever she found stacey she had to tickle her to win
Pasha. Wait so if I ask dianne to count she can count to twenty
Kev. Ye but she gets a little bit stuck at eighteen sometimes.
Faye. Hey dotty.
Dianne. Yes mummy
Faye. Can u count to twenty.
Dianne. 1 2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18 ummm 20 no 19 and 20.
Ali. My god and did uncle kev and auntie stace teach you that.
She nodded and pasha took her from kev.
Faye. How did you get her to do that. We've been trying for ages and she couldn't even get past five.
Kev. Well we found out what her favourite thing was and we taught her from that.
Pasha. So what did you teach he with
Kev. Dance. We did jive kicks and what else was it
Stace. Oh Umm Charleston swivels wasn't it.
Pasha. I need to see this. Dotty can you show us what uncle kev did with you dancing.
Di. Ok
Kev. How about four jive kicks.
And she did four jive kicks.
Stace. How about fifteen Charleston swivels.
And she did fifteen Charleston swivels.
Faye covered Diannes ears
Faye. Holy shit. They were better than mine
Kev. She's going to be a dancer. Just like her dad right pash
Pasha had a tear in his eye but wiped it away
Ashley. Was that a tear pasha.
Pash. What no just something in my eye.
Gio. Ye right. That's really impressive kev. Teaching a four year old that.
Kev. Cheers but stacey helped. I can barely count past sixteen
Ashley. Why sixteen
Kev. Because as a kid all I learnt was to count sixteen beats for dance and because I was always pulled out of school for dance I never learnt much. And besides when I was in school I didn't pay attention. I just tried remembering my steps for that weeks competition.
They all laughed.
Ali. Now there's a pro dancer. Putting his dance before his eduction.
We all laughed and dianne was fussing
Pasha. What's up dot
Di. Uncle kev.
Kev. What's up dotty
She put her hands out for him and pasha gave her to him.
Kev. What's up dot
Di. Cuggle
He hugged her and pasha smiled
Pasha. Your makin him jealous dot
Di. Why
Faye. Because him and stacey want a baby
Di. Where's your magic wand. I want to help
Kev. What
Di. Your magic wand
Stace. Huh?
Di. To make a baba
Kev. Umm I left it at home
Di. Oh so no baba yet then
They shook there heads and the others were trying to hold back laughter.
Dianne went to aj and he held her hand.
Kev. So they've made up then.
Stace. What was she on about with this magic wand
Neil. Gorks come here.
Gorka took Karen off of his shoulders and walked up to them
Gorks. Oh hiya kev
Kev. Hi gorks. What's gorka got to do with it?
Janette. Well remember when JoJo and grazi were talking about how people made babies
Stace and Kev. Ye
Ali. Well turns out it wasn't that gorka you tell him what you told them
Gorks. I told them that the bloke puts a magic wand in her mouth and then they have a baby and when it's grown a magician comes and magics it out.
Neil. Well there's definitely something going in her mouth
Kev. Shut up neil.
Gorks. What it's true.
Stace. What do you mean
Gorks. I saw it the other week
Kev. Huh?
Neil. Kevin. What have you done to my sons eyes.
Kev. I honestly have no idea what he's on about
Katya. Gorka jones. Are you lying.
Gorks. Maybe. Maybe not.
Neil. Gorka.
Gorks. Ok maybe I am but there were definitely some noises coming from their apartment.
Neil. Kevin?
Kev. I don't know. I don't remember
Katya. Too many times?
Kev. Right so are we going now darling
They all started laughing.
Pasha. I'll go and get dianne
Pasha left and dianne ran back over to Kevin.
Di. Uncle kevy
Kev. Hiya dot. We're gonna go now.
Di. Kay
Stacey picked her up and put her on Kevins shoulder.
Di. I'm a giraffe
Pasha. Right behave dotty and well see you tomorrow.
Di. Bye bye daddy. Bye bye mummy
The three of them walked back to the hotel and the others started talking
Ash. Did Kevin and stacey actually teach her that or did you just make it up
Pash. No he must have actually taught her because we could never get her to count thdt far
Ali. See I told you hell be a great dad.
Janette. Right I'll round up the monsters because we have to be at rehearsal by 10.
Janette went and brought all the kids back to their parents and they all went to their hotel rooms.
Back in kevin and Staceys room
Kev. Right you ready for bed dotty.
Di. Say night night to AJ
Kev. Ok
Kevin rang pasha.
P. Hiya Kev
K. Hi pash. Di wants to say night to AJ
P. K two mins. AJ come here.
A. Whats a matter dad
P. Dotty wants to say night
D. Night night JJ
A. Night dotty wuv you
D. Wuv u
P. Right night dotty. Be good for Kevin and stacey and we'll see you in the morning
K. She's gone to find Stacey. Right see ya tomorrow pasha
P. See ya Kev
The call ended.
Stace. Right come on dotty bedtime.
They both took her to the spare bedroom and she fell asleep after a quick story from kev and the two went to their bedroom.
Kevin. Now I really really really want a little girl
Stace. I know me two
They kissed and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.